3.9.08

Your 2008 AFC!

We had so much fun spitting out our NFC predictions yesterday, we figured we do it again. But before we get to the AFC, can we just say one thing that's really annoying us? SportMediaHeads football predictions. Not the writers... but the Heads on TV. Is it against the law to pick New England, Indy, or even San Diego? What's up with this crazy picks? Mike and Mike choose two teams—Jacksonville and Pittsburgh, and then Mr. Hodge agreed with the Jax pick—that it was sort of like watching John McCain pick his vice president. In other words, it was obviously unobvious. You're trying to throw us off, but really you're only doing it to throw us off. Or something like that. It's just stupid. Anyway, our horrible picks:

East - The division is better than people think. Miami won't be good, but the Bills and Jets won't be bad.
1) Patriots - Too easy.
2) Bills - If Edwards improves this team could go 10-6 with their schedule.
3) Jets - Favre has had one good season in the last five years. He's old. And his greatest talent in the last ten years has to been to throw horrible interceptions (unless he's playing the Bears or Vikings).
4) Dolphins - Fish. Outta. Water.

North -
1) Steelers - Like a hard SAT question, process of elimination.
2) Browns - What if I were to tell you that Derek Anderson and Kurt Warrner were from the same planet. You'd believe me wouldn't you? But if I were to tell you that Scott Mitchell and Derek Anderson were from the same planet you'd believe me also? Well we're gonna find out which one Mr. Anderson is from this year!
3) Bengals - Has a team ever gone 4-12 and finished in 3rd?
4) Ravens - Rookie QB to start! Rookie QB to start! Offensive line not as good! Tough schedule! Run away!

South - Best division in the NFL and not as college footbally as the NFC South!
1) Colts - Sometimes I think Peyton Manning is still young. Sometimes I think he's been around my entire life. And sometimes I enjoy his commercials. Life is just like that... sometimes.
2) Jaguars - We're sort of rooting for them... personal reasons.
3) Titans - This is the year that Vince Young is asked by friends if he'd like to train and fight pitbulls. Mr. Young's decision will have more impact on the NFL than the collective bargaining agreement coming to an end.
4) Texans - Go away. No one likes you. Your name sucks. Your uniforms suck. Your city sucks. Just leave us alone. Move to L.A. Just go. Can you imagine a team ever calling themselves something like the New York New Yorkers? Or the Chicago Illinoise? The Texans make me want to throw up.

West - Was this division cooler in the 1960s, 1970s, or the 1980s?
1) Chargers - When are they going to go to the baby blues?
2) Raiders - Why not? When was the last time we had an NFL team with more "fuck it" potential? Sure the SexCannon Era was great because the "fuck it" potential was always there. But this team has a QB that can throw the ball a million yards, a rookie running back who is a Bo Jackson SI article waiting to happen, and a few wide outs that can run a bit. I'm excited. Plus the D is pretty good.
3) Broncos - Really? Do we have to keep pretending that they're good? Why can't we just admit that the Broncos haven't been good for a while now (save that lucky playoff game against the Patriots three years ago).
4) Chiefs - The favorites for the #1 pick in April. No QB. No O-line. No secondary. No wins.

Wild Card: Jaguars, Bills

First Round: Colts over Bills, Steelers over Jaguars

Round Two: Patriots over Steelers, Colts over Chargers

AFC Champions: Colts over Patriots

SUPER BOWL:
Colts over Seahawks

Don't ask me how that happened, but it just did. Wow.

1 comment:

Aaron said...

Happy Birthday Bobby!!!