NFL Power Poll

On Friday Bill Simmons ranked, in his opinion, the top 32 teams in the NFL . As usual with Simmons it was enjoyable, on the target for the most part, and of course, gets caught up in too much hype. So we here atVFLOAB decided that it's time for us to give you the corrected power poll.

32. Detroit - I guess you could make a case for the Raiders or Bucs, but seriously, this team has been SO bad for SO long that they have to take the cake. At some point, you would figure, they'd win 7 games in a season. But you'd have to go back to 2000 for them to post more than 7 wins. Just a disgrace to the NFL.

31. Tampa Bay - Paging the Caddy... what is it about this team that destroys fantasy careers? First it was Clayton and now it's the Caddy. Both had nice rookie years. Both have been brutal since. What a shame.

30. Oakland - The fact that this team won two games is pretty amazing. They stink. But it goes to show how a decent D, on it's own, can win a few games for you.

29. Cleveland - This is yet another franchise that flat out sinks. Is it me, or does the NFL have more crap franchises than any other league? Baseball only has the Cubs, even though the Brewers, Pirates, Tigers (until last year) and Royals are attempting to join them. If you're a fan of the Browns, Texans, Cardinals, or Lions you have no hope. None. You're team will always suck.

28. Houston - Let's just fold this team. They've got a stupid name (Texans), they never win anything, they're fan base stinks (only the Jags fans could give them a run for their money insuckness)... seriously have you ever met a Texan fan? Just a lame franchise. A third team in New Jersey would be more interesting.

27. Arizona - This team is interesting only for fantasy reasons.

26. Green Bay - I really thought I'd enjoy "And ANOTHER bad interception thrown by Brett Favre" more this year, but Brett's let us all down. He hasn't be exciting and he hasn't been nearly as bad as he was last year. Just a disappointing year all around.

25. Washington - I haven't listened to SportsTalk 980 out of DC in a few months, but I venture to guess that the callers still believe that the Skins are going to make the playoffs. Why doesn't anyone talk about how insanely optimistic Redskin fans are? They're the NFL equivalent to Cub fans and about the only thing that people in DC agree upon. But no one talks about this. Anyway, I can't for the life of me figure out why they're so bad, but they are.

24. Buffalo - It's hard to feel much of anything about this team. Most uninteresting team in the NFL this year.

23. St. Louis - Unlike previous years the Rams aren't fun to watch. I miss Mike Martz.

22. San Fran - They can't stop anyone, but they can be fun to watch on offense. Of course, most of the time they aren't. But I'm looking forward to the 'rebirth' of the 49ers next year. And finally, last year Alex Smith looked like he might be theworst #1 draft pick of all time . The good news is that this year he's probably passed Tom Cousineau, Kenneth Simms, Aundray Bruce, Ki-Jana Carter, and Tim Couch. Next year hopefully he'll pass Courtney Brown, Steve Emtmann, and Vinny Testaverde.

21. Minnesota - I can't believe I took Joey Harrington over Brad Johnson.

20. Miami - I can't believe I picked Joey Harrington over Brad Johnson.

19. New York Jets - I'm sorry, this is not that good of a team. And it looks like they might even make the playoffs. As I said before, they're a 'scheme' and no talent. The type of team that if you don't say 'check' they'll take the ball and score in a pick up game. I HATE teams like this. Your 2006 New Jersey Jets!

18. Pittsburgh - You mean the worst Super Bowl Champions of all time are struggling the next year? You don't say!

17. Tennessee - On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most excited I could be, of how excited I am for the Vince Young Era, I'd put it at 8.5. TheLeBron Era came in at 9, The Reggie Bush Era was a 9.5, and The Rex Grossman Era was 4.

16. Philly - One thing I hate about Philly fans is how they're almost pissed off when a so-so Philly team wins. It's as if they miss the entire point of sports, which is that it's fun. Of course, they take it personal, so when the Birds come up just short, they'll be allpissy about it. Of course, the fact that their D is average and their starting QB is out of the year means that they're playing with the House's Money is lost on them. So Philly fans, just enjoy it.

15. Atlanta - I hate the Falcons. Seriously, you have the most exciting player who can do things that no one else has ever been able to do at quarterback and you try and turn him into a pocket passer. It makes no sense. None. Why, I mean, WHY?, would you try turn Vick into just a passer? Do the coaches not realize how fast he is? Why wouldn't they roll him out on every play? I just don't get it.

14. Denver - Good D... no QB. Blah.

13. Carolina - When does John Fox start getting some of the blame?

12. New York Giants - Happy Feet Eli returns for Thanksgiving once again! But this isn't a bad team, but it also isn't a very good team. And in the NFL today, if you can run a bit, throw once in a while, and play a little D... you are one of the better teams in the NFL and could sneak into a Division Championship. I love how the NFL rewards blah football.

11. Jacksonville - They're the Giants with even worse fans.

10. Kansas City - They've got two things that every NFL teams would kill for: Great home field advantage and Larry Johnson. And that makes them one of the 10 best teams in the NFL. Amazing.

9. Dallas - Tony Romo will implode in 7.... 6.... 5.... 4.... 3.... 2.... that's right, we're about a week or two away from everyone in the NFL figuring outRomo. Just like they figured out Grossman. (And remember how everyone and their mother was saying, 'let's not get too excited about Grossman, it's only been five games' yet no one is saying this about Romo... why?) And we started seeing it last week. In fact, compare Romo and Grossman's first seven games of the year... look a bit like the same QB don't they? Grossman has one really bad game that resume, but other than that, they might as well be the same QB. Unless Romo is the second coming of Tom Brady there's no way he'll keep this up. Because we all realize that the Cowboys can't run the ball that well right? And Owens is still on this team... Oh the joy when they finally implode. And come on, do you honestly believe that they could beat the Bears in Chicago right now? Grossman would have to put up a 10.3 QB rating for that to happen... (And thanks to the Polish Jesus for the Romo vs Grossman comparison).

8. New Orleans - Easily the most fun team to watch this year. And this was even before last week when you were trying to convince yourself that Bush was 'finally' going to break one,umm if you're like me. Unfortunately, they don't have a D.

7. New England - The Pats have Brady and the best coach in the NFL. Other than that... a rookie running back that gives them a little life, a so-so D. Yet they could end up in the Super Bowl. Amazing. The worst Pats team since 2001, which, might be a good thing now that I think about it, since they won the Super Bowl and all that year.

6. Seattle - I'm not sold on this team just yet. The way the Bears beat the crap out of them in week 4 (I know without Alexander) still scares me.

5. Baltimore - And falling... it's weird, no one talked about them when they were actually playing well. And now that they aren't, people are jumping on the band wagon.

4. Indy - They SHOULD be #1 but we all know that they're going crap the bed in the playoffs.

3. San Diego - They SHOULD be #1 but we all know that Marty is going to crap the bed in the playoffs. Also, if I was a Charger fan, I would be getting annoyed with all theseTomlinson touchdowns. First, you're just playing with the Devil any time you do this. The Fantasy Gods will seek revenge, usually with an injury. And secondly, if you're in that locker room after the game, and you just won 38-28 withTomlinson scoring five touchdowns, aren't you, in a way, getting a little annoyed? It's like Marty goes out of his way to get LT touchdowns. This can't keep happening. Plus, as I said, Marty is going to blow this.

2. Cincinnati - As long as Palmer, Johnson, Johnson, and Houshe stay away from any run ins with the law, it really doesn't matter. This team is pretty darn good and peaking at the right time. Sure they're going to have to go on the road in the playoffs, but they're more balanced than the Colts and Ravens; they should be able to handle the Pats... all they need to do is not give up 389 points in a half to the Chargers.

1. Chicago - Look, they're going to get home field advantage. The NFC isn't that good as it is. I would guess they end up playing the Saints andSeahawks... they should win both of those games. And then they're in the Super Bowl. The question of course, is Grossman . Is he going to play as badly as he did last week against Minnesota? Probably not. But this team can run the ball, they have the best defense and special teams in the NFL. All they need fromGrossman is to be fine. Unfortunately, Grossman only plays great or poorly. When he plays great the Bears win 42-6. When he plays poorly they win 20-13. I like their chances.

No comments: