28.12.06

Jason Taylor is Totally right... NFL Rankings again

What the Hell is Jason Taylor thinking?

"You really shouldn't be able to fail a test like that and play in this league, to begin with," Taylor said Wednesday. "To make the Pro Bowl and all the other awards , I think you're walking a fine line of sending the wrong message."

Jason, let me tell you something, look right here... right here... If you play in the NFL it's okay to do steroids. BANG! (okay enough Paul McGuire). In fact, you should do 'roids because you become a better player and people love you even more. This is a fact. And if you don't believe me, Jason, just look at the guy who you're talking about. Shawne Merriman . He does steroids. He gets suspended for four games (four weeks!). And then he gets to play again. In baseball you get 50 games, which works out to be about 8 weeks. A baseball suspension is twice as harsh as an NFL suspension. The media doesn't give you a free pass in baseball either.

Of course, if known juicer Shawne Merriman played baseball, he'd be public enemy #1. And his career would be just... about... over...

Just check out what happened to Rafael Palmeiro whose career came to an end after a positive steroid test. Palmeiro's chances of making the Baseball Hall of Fame stand some where between nil and none despite his 3,000 hits and 500 home runs.

But Merriman? The media can't give him enough love. Hell he might even win the NFL Defensive player of the year EVEN THOUGH HE TESTED POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS THIS YEAR! But it's the NFL. They can do no wrong. Even after they switch all their games to Direct TV and charge 400 bucks for the season. We will still worship at the alter of bad football.

(Speaking of baseball, you would think after this winter of insane contracts I would read "Zito signs for seven years and 125 million" and I wouldn't be that shocked. No. I'm shocked. Totally shocked. It's almost like a competition between about five teams to see who have give the worst contract in the history of sports. I'm convinced that if RickDiPietro played catcher, he would get a 20 year, 439 million deal from the Rangers tomorrow. Instead I guess he'll have to settle for that 15 years, $67.5 million contract with the Islanders (which is still the worst contract in the history of sports, even though GilMeche's contract is solidly in second).

And I should say, doesn't anyone really care what Skip Baless says about anything? Yet this man is on TV giving his opinion on sports with that sly "I'm smarter than everyone look"... why? That's all though, Skip's probably the biggest loser of 2006. Why waste any more time?

So what's up for today? How about another run down of the NFL? Sounds good to me... and for all I know, this might be the last time I do it since I'm just about to leave the NFL for good. Everyone has a breaking point, for me it'sShawne Merriman, with you it's me... thanks to the Hip for the help. This is where we were at a few weeks ago, in case you care.

32. Detroit (32) - No change, they stink. Let's just move on before someone gets dumber.

31. Oakland (30) - Just bad news all around. I guess that D is okay, but other than that... probably the worst offense of my life time. Imagine if that defense had no pride? They really would be 0-16.

30. Cleveland (29) - If I was from Cleveland... oh forget it. I'm starting to become convinced that this team will always suck.

29. Houston (28) - I'm going to pretend that they're not in the NFL. And I'll say it again, NO ONE HAS FEELINGS ONE WAY OR THE OTHER ABOUT THE HOUSTON TEXANS. I AM SHOUTING.

28. Tampa Bay (31) - They've showed some spunk. I like that out of the 28th best team in the league.

27. Arizona (27) - I'd like to put them higher, but there is really no where to put them.

26. Minnesota (21) - The wheels really came off the wagon quickly on this team didn't they? I mean, if it wasn't for the Giants, we'd be talking more about the Vikings right? And their new uniforms stink.

25. Washington (25) - According to everyone in DC, they're going to win the Super Bowl next year. It's amazing how I didn't draw the Cub/Skins comparison until after I moved from DC. But if you're a Skins fan, is there really anything to get that excited about for next year? I mean, if things stay as is, they could fight for the playoffs. But they're going to tinker with the team and find a way to go 8-8.

24. San Fran (22) - I'm still looking forward to the 'rebirth' of the 49ers next year.

23. Miami (20) - I would hate being a Dolphins fan right now. First they pass up on Brees to sign Daunte. Daunte can't play so they're forced to go with Joey Harrington who played just well enough for a period of time to make fans think "wait, maybe...". Then on top of that, NickSaban is all but gone. So basically, the Dolphins are the same team they were two years ago except they're older. On the bight side, they have Ronnie Brown.

22. New York Giants (12) - Even if they make the playoffs, a team has never had a Larger, Brighter, More Obvious "Dead Men Walking" sign in the history of sports. Well besides the 1986 RedSox in Game Seven of the World Series. And maybe the 2005 Astros... of course the Astros went on to still make the World Series. So this may mean nothing, as the Polish Jesus seems to think.

21. Buffalo (24) - Since both the Bills and 49ers should be okay next year, can we just fast forward to Chris Berman picking those two for the Super Bowl next year? I haven't been this excited since I heard that Limp Bizkit was coming out with a new album.

20. St. Louis (23) - I really only have one question, did Mike Martz ever really leave? I mean, wasn't this year pretty much the same as the previous three or four in St. Louis? I guess there wasn't the drama, but the team still underachieved. The more things change...

19. Atlanta (15) - Why are we blaming Vick for being misused again? In a year where we major questions as to who was going to be "the Worst Coach in the NFL" afterTice, Martz , and whoever was coaching the Lions got fired Jim Mora came to the rescue. (Art Shell was never in the running since he's Art Shell and on another level of badness). Then again, I'd pay a million bucks to see Mora coach TO.

18. Green Bay (26) - I can't believe it myself, but there's a chance that an absolutely brutal Packer team is going to make the playoffs. But if you thought that was bad...

17. New York Jets (19) - This team still isn't that good. Maybe they don't stink, but I couldn't be more unexcited about the Jets being in the playoffs. I hate this team. They're boring to watch... I mean watching paint dry boring. And yet, they're probably going to make the playoffs. Of course, that does offer up the chance of them getting waxed by the Pats or Colts in 10 days or something. BET THE FAVORITE!

16. Pittsburgh (18) - You mean the worst Super Bowl Champions of all time are struggling the next year? You don't say! But they're still better than the Jets.

15. Carolina (13) - Once again, why doesn't John Fox get any of the blame?

14. Kansas City (10) - Okay I was way off on them. I'm sorry about that. I should know better. But if it worked for the Chargers... hey why has it worked for the Chargers?

13. Jacksonville (11) - Mo-Jo-Drew or just Mo-Jo... shouldn't this be Maurice Jones-Drew's nick name? Should we be calling him this? Why aren't we calling him this? Are we pissed that he has the double last name so we can't call him M-Jo orMJ? Whatever. Weird team those Jags. They're becoming the Vikings of the AFC.

12. Tennessee (17) - You watch Vince Young and you enjoy the experience. Sure he's a rookie, but the Titans allow him to make plays. You watch the Falcons who have the same QB only FASTER and with A BETTER ARM and you want to slit your wrists (unless Vick takes off). Why? Does Jim Mora not watch other NFL games? Does he not realize that the Titans could be on the verge of changing the face of the NFL since they think outside of the box (sorry) and have a QB that allows them to do such things? If the Titans ever get new uniforms, I could sort of get behind them. (I just realized that people probably won't inherently understand that using the second person is funny there. So I'm letting you know that using the second person is inherently amusing).

11. Cincinnati (2) - It's a shame they probably won't make the playoffs. It really is. All they had to was make a good snap, kick that extra point, and all is well with the world. Instead, we're going to have to suffer though the Jets getting destroyed by Indy or New England. I hate the NFL.

10. Denver (14) - Rookie QB in the playoffs... rookie QB in the playoffs... I know we're about ten years away from a rookie QB leading a team to the Super Bowl, but until that changes, rookie QB in the playoffs... rookie QB in the playoffs... now watch them go lose to the 49ers this weekend.

9. Dallas (9) - We called the Tony Romo downfall (though we called it an implosion, which it hasn't been... so far). THANK YOU (and the Polish Jesus). But this team is being ripped apart by... you guessed it! TO! What a shocker that is. AndRomo isn't that good, I'm sorry. They were lucky to beat the Falcons in week 15 and got waxed by the Birds in week 16.

8. Seattle (6) - Does this team have a valid excuse as to why they won't be the #3 seed in the NFC? They really blew it. If they're the #3 seed, they avoid the Bears until the NFC Championship... instead they may struggle to beat, probably, the Cowboys.

7. Philly (16) - Odds are they'll end up with a 8-8 team coming to Philly next week. They should/will destroy that team. They will then go to New Orleans, where they will have a pretty good chance of beating the Saints. Some how, some way, this team could make the Super Bowl. Of course, odds are, Andy Reid will blow the New Orleans game, so I guess this is a moot point. And I really enjoyed the message board comments from my Philly friends aboutGarica in my fantasy league. High comedy. They love him in a very platonic way.

6. Indy (4) - I can't see Peyton willing his team to victory in the AFC. And I think I could run for 100 yards on that defense. The Colts are, officially, three years from making a Super Bowl run. Then again, if the AFC ever goes to shit, like the NFC, then they could have a chance in two years.

5. New Orleans (8) - At times, it's like watching the 1999 Rams with a power running back. I'm telling you a very enjoyable experience watching 'dem Saints.

4. San Diego (3) - You're telling me that the media just learned the Rivers is a first year starter about three days ago? I'll even say this is the most overrated team in the NFL. Their receivers stink, they don't use Gates enough, and rely way too much on LT. If you're playing the Chargers, why not put 8 in the box and dare Rivers to throw a pick? And on top of all that... Marty is the coach. You're telling me you'd take them over the Patriots in the playoffs right now?

3. New England (7) - Brady and Belichick, Belichick and Brady. If this team had one receiver, they'd be a near shoe in for the Super Bowl. Instead it's going to be a fight. But you're telling me they can't beat the Chargers? Marty vsBelichick would be the most lopsided coaching match up in years.

2. Chicago (1) - Funny, when the QB was a question mark, they were #1. Now the QB is cool... but the D? Oh no. Major problems there. You still have to like them over everyone else in the NFC. They're just better. And unlike last year, they can score points. Only the Chargers have scored more points (that's right the Bears are second in the NFL in points scored, but no one ever mentions this) and only two teams have allowed less points (the Pats and Ravens). Now, are you still going to tell me this team is overrated?

1. Baltimore (2) - I love this team. Love them. And right now, they are the best team in the NFL and have a QB that can match up with anyone. And they still don't get a lot of press. That spells goodthangs.

1 comment:

You're Dumb said...

Bears at 2???