The ESPY Award They Should Be Giving Out...

It's our first ever mailbag! We received an e-mail from the Polish Jesus and figure, if the Jesuit educated males of the East Coast can do it... what's to stop us hard working, Jesuit educated Midwesterns from having Mailbags? Away we go:

I think you/we should create an ESPY Award for "Hippest Sports Phrase of the Year" Potential nominees:

- "I did not watch a minute of the NBA Finals!" (this, to me, should be the overwhelming favorite)
- "The Yankees are the best team money can buy" (grandfather clause here, as it is a 6-time champion)
- "Was there an all-star game last night?" (Could refer to NBA or MLB)
- "They still play hockey???"
- "I don't watch Sportscenter anymore!" (no offense, but WIP makes this point quite a bit)
- "I'm a big [NFL team] fan" (generally stated by a female)

Mike from Bryn Mawr

I'll add a few more:
- "He just loves to play football." (This is rarely said by fans, but I'm not sure announcers can go more than five plays without saying it during a Packers game).
- "The Spurs are just so boring."
- "Simmons isn't as good as he used to be." (Anyone else notice that he's been pretty fantastic the last four or five months?)
- "Woody Page is an idiot" or "I can't stand Around the Horn" (Look people, if you don't like it, don't watch it).

Chicago Specific Nominees:
- "If they trade Buehrle I'm never going to see the White Sox play ever again." (White Sox fans: More fickel than a female with no self-confidence! Seriously, who were these people? Why are they Sox fans? Why can't they go away?)
- "Rex is our quarterback." (To really appreciate this one, you have to hear it about 100 times to really get the full effect of Lovie's drawl).
- "The Cubs have the best starting rotation in the majors." (Don't get me started on the Cubs and Cub fans...)
- "Put in Griese!" (Every Bear fan that started watching in Week 10 or later).
- "I don't see how this makes the Bulls better" or "I just don't like Noah." (A favorite of the morons on the WSCR, 670AM, the Score. To hear them say it, the Bulls should have traded the #9 for Kobe and Garnett).

And while we're at it... why not introduce a Hall'o'Fame of Hip Sports Phrases:
- "I haven't gone to a baseball game since the Strike."
- "Cal Ripken saved baseball."
- "I don't watch the NBA because it's just a bunch of thugs."

If you want to see Sicko for free, you can do so here:
It's about as balanced as Soviet propaganda, but it is pretty interesting.

For Soviet propaganda, peep dis:
For some reason I LOVE propaganda.

Matt (Chicago)

Umm, okay Matt. I do like how the Soviets couldn't find a qualified 10 year old to draw half of those posters.

If Mexico is 2-0 in Copa America shouldn't the US be 13 and -2 after two games?
- Rodrigo (Mexico)

Uncle, Rodrigo. Uncle.

Look we sent a shitty team to Copa America. Our goalie is older than Father Time, our back line features one starter, our midfield features only two guys with long term futures with the national team, and we still don't have a striker (mainly because Vick, Iverson, and Reggie Bush don't play soccer). I know, excuses are like assholes, but 'dem the facts.

No matter, you guys haven't won in the US since Clinton and Zedillo were presidents. I'd call that one sided. If it wasn't for the Azteca, this may be a Red Sox/Yankees type situation.

I am sort of disappointed in the US Soccer Federation, their goal this summer was to win the Gold Cup. They could careless about Copa America, probably because they know we can't win it. But if we're ever going to reach that point where we face off with Brazil in every World Cup Final, we should place more empathises on competitions where there is more than one quality team. But that would be too risky. Not like it matters, I'm sure Landon will disappear for about a year or so since he's actually been worth a damn over the past few months. No one dominates El Salvador and Honduras like Landon Donovan. No one disappears faster than Landon Donovan come time to play a team with actual quality. I hope he has fun cutting Beckham's hair this summer.

Apparently I'm being dragged there tonight. So if anyone's
interested, that's where I'll be (drunk, as usual)
-Ben (Chicago)

Yup, these are my friends.

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