Views from Life on a Bench: Was Larry Jones In the Slammer Saturday Night?

After my depressing White Sox post, I’m going to cheer myself up a bit. All of us.

The BobFather decided to spend the Labor Day weekend with us here at VFLOAB which included a trip to RFK to watch the Nats come back and beat the Diamondbacks. Then the next day we headed up I-95 to Philly to catch an old fashion double header between the Phillies and Braves.

So there we were taking in the first game, watching Ryan Howard hit three home runs just for shits and giggles. Fun game, even if the Phillies almost gave it away in the end. Anytime a player hits three home runs and some guy runs on the field to paid him homage to him as if he was Allah is a good time. The fact that it was a two-fer-one if you sat around for forty-five minutes made it all the better. Good times were be had by all.

For the second game, we took the late 90s Comiskey Upgrade to about the 10^th row even with the third base bag. We’re sitting there, having a nice time watching the first inning when this guy jogs down the aisle and starts screaming, “LARRY! HOW WAS THE SLAMMER LAST NIGHT, LARRY?!?!?! LARRY, HOW WAS THE SLAMMER???!!!”

Naturally, everyone turned to look at the man yelling… and he in turn, turns to us and says, “Its true! Chipper got thrown in the slammer last night for decking a guy who called him Larry, that’s why he missed the first game, ISN’T THAT RIGHT LARRY? YOU WERE IN THE SLAMMER! WELCOME TO PHILLY, LARRY!”

This being a back-to-back doubleheader, many people where not in a very sobering state of mind. The Larry chants started pretty much right away and lasted the rest of the game when ever Chipper/Larry stepped to the plate. What was really funny is that the guy went around the entire stadium spreading the news (you could hear him randomly yelling LARRY throughout the stadium), and by the end of the game the entire park was yelling “Larry!” Good times for everyone, expect maybe Larry/Chipper who might have been annoyed since he was being called, umm, his real name.

But I couldn’t help but wonder… was Chipper Jones in jail the night before? So when I got home, I went to Google and GoogleNews to see what they had on Chipper Jones. Nothing. Just an AP story about how he was a late scratch from the first game because of a sore oblique muscle.

But let’s connect the dots… Chipper misses first game as a late scratch (so he was in the lineup) because of an oblique muscle problem… which he ends up hurting during his third at bat in the second game… wait that doesn’t sound right. Why would he play in the second but not the first? A sore muscle isn’t going to get better in 3 hours…

That doesn’t seem right does is?

The Smoking Gun doesn’t have anything, but I’m more than willing to go out on a limb and report what I heard in South Philly on Sunday… and that’s that Chipper/Larry Jones spent Saturday night/Sunday morning in a Philadelphia jail. Of course, we’re taking the word of a drunk Philly fan, but hey, it’s better than Brett Meyers strikes out 10 in a loss.

-- I loved every second of the De'Cody Fagg experience last night.-- And call me crazy but I saw a little Reggie Bush in Lorenzo Booker last night.

I know that’s against ND and not last nights game, but hey it works.

-- I’ll come out and say it… Project Runway is FANTASIC. I’m not totally sure why, but it just is. Like salted peanuts at a baseball game. I can’t find a good article on it, so just live with this, but it really is great TV. It’s interesting, dramatic, insane at times, funny at other times, hip, and gives us Heidi Klum every Wednesday. Really, a can’t miss if you ask me.