I was going to write something about how great coffee is and how important it is to this whole little capitalism thing but history will ignore it and I realized, that is really boring. So none of that. Plus as I once told someone who was arguing this to me one day a few years back, “No way man. Coffee is important, but it isn’t the most important ‘fuel’ of capitalism. That title would go to cocaine.”
I’m not arguing that coke is a good thing, because it isn’t. I’ve seen people go to the shitter thanks to that crap already, and I’ve avoided it for various and obvious reasons. But it’s hard to deny the fact, especially now that coke has made such a fantastic come back (sort of like John Travolta did in the early to mid 90s), that A LOT of professionals use coke. The stories of cocaine usage in the purest places of capitalism, the market itself, at the MERC, CBOT, NYSE, and others are near legendary… and of course you’ve got your run of the mill rock’n’rollers, a good number of finance people in Manhattan and across urban America. I’m sure there are bunch of lawyers too. Last year when I was working in a hospital there were stories and rumors of doctors enjoying nose candy. So I would argue that it’s cocaine, not coffee, that fuels capitalism and the market. Oil is for the weak.
Now why am I even talking about this crap and how do I know anything about it if I’ve never even tried the stuff? I lived with a coke head for a year!!! That’s right senior year of college, my roommate was a coke head. When I left to study abroad our junior year, he was a normal guy. When I came back? My roomie lost about 40 pounds thanks to his cocaine diet when I was abroad... that's 10 pounds a month. I mean... not good times drugs. BTW, I still don't think my parents know I lived with a coke head last year. I wonder what they would have done if they knew this?
Now I figure most people haven’t had the experience of living with a coke head in college. But it's not good times, let me sum up their day for you.
10am - maybe wake up and go to class, probably sleep
3pm - wake up for real this time, eat cereal, watch TV
4:30pm - start calling people, make sure dealer will be at the normal place at the normal time
5:30pm - go get dinner, eat
6pm - watch TV
7pm - go talk online, play guitar, watch TV sometimes with roomies, listen to Dave, drink beer if roomies have bought some
9pm - get drugs
9:25pm - do drugs, sketchy friends who don't shower and are weird come over and do drugs
11pm - go to bar/friends place
1am - come back, do more drugs
1:15am - watch bad movies and make racist jokes about Jews and Nazis with other roomie who doesn't do drugs but also like to sleep during the day
2am - get yelled at by other two roommates to shut up
4/5am - go to bed
So that’s my ‘anti’ drug rant for the day. Moving on… a few other random thoughts:
If I'm ever sold on e-bay this is what my e-bay description line would look like:
For Sale: Bobby Otter
6'0" 170, white male with blonde hair
* Pretty nice guy with a sense of humor
* Great drunk, actually gets nicer and isn't annoying, rude, or
aggressive when drunk
* Loves the White Sox
* Will stand up to his mother
* Likes to read, write, talk, and hang out
* Liberal, maybe even Very Liberal
* Great taste in music
* Doesn't do drugs and doesn't plan on ever doing drugs
* Eats well, not great
* Great with kids
* Likes to do things, loves to travel
* Fantastic in bed, is heterosexual
I think Brad Pitt has one of the three best life's in the world... David Beckham is on that list too. #3? W maybe? I mean don't you think he just sits back and says... 'fuckin' eh, I'm President? I can do whatever I want? Really? Seriously... this is just great, let's go kill some people for shits and giggles'.
Finally, as I was walking around DC today getting coffee mate, I saw this three year old kid standing next to a car wearing a Halloween X-Men mask. I start thinking, that’s sort of weird… and then I see the kid peeing on the side walk. Just fantastic. His mother was in the car and had made him put on a mask so he could pee (I’m assuming the poor kid couldn’t hold it). So there was this three year old kid on the 14th street side walk taking a wiz in a superhero mask. That’s about a block and a half from the White House. I’m not sure how all the suits and squares of DC were able to handle that. But it put a hop in my step. So thank you Superhero-mask-wearing-Three-Year-Old-Kid. You made my day.