20.1.06

Snarky

I’ve got nothing today. I woke up and in the shower I was reflecting on the Civil War and the South…. but I’m not at work and I could really careless. Really, I’m sick of it all right now. I’m sick of the South and their Confederate/Taitor statues facing south. I’m sick of them waving the US flag next to the Confederate flag (and for the record the Confederate flag has to be the most Anti-American symbol ever thought of or created). But I don’t feel like making that point in long sentences that just lead to more questions, so that’s all I’m giving. Told you I was snarky right now.

I used the restroom today next to a guy on a cell phone... serious. I wish I was making this up, but it’s the truth. This moron was yapping away on a cell phone while taking a wiz. This being Washington, DC, I could see the Democrats and Republicans getting into a ‘war of words’ and ‘stand off’ over an issue like this, “Just how much and where can a person use a cell phone” completely missing the point of course. [And I’m also giving the Dems way too much credit here. The Democratic response would look something like this:
1) What does Bush think about this?
2) How does talking on a cell phone while at a urinal effect the pro-life movement, and then do the opposite.
3) What would Bill Clinton think about this?
4) What does Chaney think about this?
5) Is there any way to get the Supreme Court to rule on this before they would have to do anything or react?
Doesn’t that pretty much sum up the Democrats right now? Bush is a Bum!, Keep Abortion legal, WWBCD?, Chaney Sucks, and can we get a court ruling first?] Anyway, while the idiots and morons are arguing, I think pretty much everyone IN THE WORLD would agree that this guy would probably be better off if he wasn’t able to pro-create. There was no this point to this story for the record.

I’m going to admit it; I like “Fix You” also off of X&Y. Call me cheesy and a romantic, but I like it. And yes, some day Coldplay will actually make a good album that consists of good songs all the way through. You can’t write songs like “Speed of Sound”, “Clocks”, “The Scientist”, and of course “Shiver” without being talented. But until they stop messing around with junk like “Swallowed in the Sea”, “A Rush of Blood to the Head” and lyrics like “My song is love” (which by the way is the worst song lyric in the history of music. It’s so bad that I actually physically gagged when I first heard it) it’s not going to happen. Okay I’m making no sense.

We here at VFLOAB love Tony Kornheiser and listen to his radio show almost every day. Today marked our first public radio performance today when an e-mail of ours was read over the air on The Tony Kornheiser Show. Tony had just had VFLOAB favorite Rachel Nichols of ESPN, never blinking, and bad segment exit line fame on the air to talk about who knows what, I think Antino Davis, but she was in Charlotte (why Charlotte? I don’t know. Maybe the Panthers haven’t left for Seattle? Who knows, but that’s where she was). Anyway here is the e-mail (and btw when someone reads what you wrote on the radio… totally weird):
Tony did you just have the Saucy Babe Rachel Nichols offer to read you ESPN: The Magazine? You're officially now the third luckiest person to walk this Earth and Mr. Mr. Mark Consuelos has to be shaking in his boots. But back to Ms. Nichols, if this happens, can you invite me over? I can pretend to work on the fence or something. Then at some point come in for a break, crack open a Coke, and sit in-between the two of you as she reads the Mag to you in her sunny voice. Then after that we can ride bikes or write long journalistic pieces for old time sakes. To cap off the night, I'll change out of my white, throw on a sweater, and go bowling. I think that would be classic.

And we are talking full credit for this. The Cubans are going to play. So when the US beats them 12-3 in March, you can thank me.


Just when you thought your day was really, really bad. I mean Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day like day, well that's when Chuck Norris comes to save the day. He comes to Fix You. Thank you Chuck. And thank you Conan.

Now for the reason you’re probably not reading… my probably totally incorrect and wrong picks. These playoffs can’t get any worse for me, after a strong 2-0 start on the first Saturday of the season; it’s been all down hill since then. We’re an amazing 1-5 since… maybe we should never have left Chicago. But we still have a chance to finish above .500 if we run the table… and that’s just what we’re going to do. It starts right here.

DENVER (-3) over Pittsburgh
We were almost talked into taking the Steelers, they do have a look about them that makes them seem Super Bowl bound… but then we remembered - Denver has the biggest home field advantage in the NFL. So we’re going with the Broncos, whose defense is playing really well. They just beat the Pats, a team with a better offense than the Steelers, and should be able to move the ball enough to win this game. I doubt it’s going to be a blow out, I expect a tight game with the Broncos doing enough to stay ahead and win.
Broncos – 23; Steelers 17

SEATTLE (+3.5) over Carolina
You know what… I don’t care. I really don’t. I can’t think of any reason to pick either team here. I can’t. The best player in the game is Steve Smith, but Seattle is at home and Matt Hasselbeck looked fantastic in the second half last week willing his team to victory (granted it helped that the ‘Skins can’t move the ball, but work with me). Yet again, this is also one of the few times when the Panthers won’t be wearing the ugliest uniform, and that has to count for something correct? The odds that Sean Alexander will disappear in this game are about 93%, but the Panthers shouldn’t be able to run the ball anyway.

I guess I’m basing this decision on the fact that the Panthers, outside of Steve Smith, looked very average last week against the Bears. If the Seahawks can hold Smith to only 9 catches, 158 yards, and one touchdown they should win. Then again, Steve “Anti-Christ” Smith could just as easily put up 28 catches for 938 yards and three touchdowns… just when Vince Young comes along and makes you say “I’ve seen it all… I’ve seen Michael Jordan, I’ve seen Albert Pujols hit a ball 900 feet, the White Sox win a World Series, and now I’ve seen one football player beat one of the best college football teams ever by himself, well I’ve seen it all. I can’t possibly see anything that will join this list.” Steve Smith comes and standing maybe 5’4” plays like a superhero. There is no other way to describe him.

But I just feel that this is the Seahawks year. And they’re armed with a Jesuit at the helm. And my soon to be #1 rule in life is never bet against the Jesuits.

Seahawks – 27, Panthers - 20

2 comments:

In Otter Space said...

I'll give you the only reason you need to care who wins today's game. Carolina over Da' Hawks...b/c if the Panthers win then your beautiful and talented aunt gets to go to Detroit.
So come on say it... say it...GO PANTHERS!!!!!!!!
And P.S. you sound jealous about the cats uniform.

Otter said...

Detroit... well you win some and lose some. Some may say that the Panthers losing might actually have been a good thing since now you don't have to go to Detroit.

But actually I like Detroit. I think it gets a bad rap and there's nothing like the feel of being along the river and thinking "I could swim to freedom if I wanted."

You are right though, going to the Super Bowl would have been really cool. Sorry about that. Next year.