Can the Sox Clinch the Division?

I planned my day around today’s 1:00 ESPN day game… the Chicago White Sox at the Detroit Tigers. Being a die-hard Sox fan, this was a big game, made bigger by the fact that at about 1:05 I learned that the Sox can win the division even though their magic number is 2! This only made me more excited… and then I thought, hey let’s rip off the Sports Guy and run a running journal of the game! In the booth for ESPN is Steve Stone and Steve Phillips providing color, and some guy that they’re trying to break in before the playoffs. Here’s what transpired:

1:28pm Eastern – My God! The White Sox can clinch the division today even though the Indians can still tie them?!?! What kind of rule is that?!? I’ll take it though, I don’t want to have to win a game in Cleveland this weekend. So if the Sox win, they’ll win the AL Central. It’s 3-0 White Sox already thanks to an Everett two run triple in the first and a sac fly from Podsednik to score AJ Pierzynski. I love Polish people.

1:30 – But first I’ve got to make a sandwich… wait I need chips. Off to the Quckie Mart!

1:43 – I’m having a tuna sandwich with Utz ruffled chips! And a coke! And since I’m unemployed and playing poker tonight, I bought champagne! And I’m a little too excited right now, but it’s 3 zip White Sox and the sun just came out on a near perfect day. Life is good! They better win this game.

1:45 – Just sat down again, it’s a commercial… it’s the Burger King commercial with the King! I love these commercials. Best ads out there right now if you ask me. What a great ad agency that is.

1:46 – Sox still winning 3-0 in the bottom of the third. Good I didn’t miss anything.

1:49 – I just realized that I bought champagne. I need a job.

1:51 – Freddy Garcia, who’s pitching for the Sox today, just took his time on a come backer, Polanco reached first and Shelton just singled, all this with two outs. And now Maggs is up. I don’t like this…

1:54 – Maggs hits it back up the middle, but Harris throws him out. That was too close for comfort. Of course it got the announcers talking about the bad blood between Maggs and the Sox, especially Ozzie. It’s always fun to think of Ozzie’s words for Maggs, “He’s just another Venezuelan bleep.” And "Who the (bleep) is Magglio Ordonez". Oh Ozzie…

1:57 – YES!! I just intercepted a pass for CUA. That’s right, I’m playing NCAA ’06, created my school (Catholic University) and myself along with some friends… we’re down 28-38 @ Rutgers early in the 4th. I’m down because I let the computer play, and they of course we’re blowing the game…

1:58 – We’re still talking about the MVP race? Yeah, Ortiz has had a nice year, but A-Rod actually plays! This is the biggest no brainier in a while. It’s A-Rod. Sox go down 1, 2, 3.

2:02 – Touchdown CUA! 35-38 now, with 2:54 remaining.

2:04 – We’re getting the ball with 1:41… meanwhile Garcia just struck out the first two batters in the 4th.

2:06 – Touchdown… I have the lead, but still 0:37 left. I didn’t want to score, but I was forced in. Damn computer.

2:10 – On third down, the computer makes up a pass interference call against me. They don’t want me to win… Sox are done in the 5th.

2:12 - I get a sack to end the game, I win. Bottom of the 5th, and Phillips and Stone are just making fun of each other. If I didn’t enjoy some of their baseball analysis (read Steve Stone), I might have to turn the TV down. On no… they’re talking about how they got lost on the way to the game and making Windsor, Ontario jokes… spare me.

2:14 – Juan Uribe just threw someone out from two or three steps into left field. I love Uribe and no one ever talks about Uribe as one of the best short stops in the game. Yet we still care about Nomar.

2:16 – Tigers go 1, 2, 3, and this game is getting sort of boring. And the champagne won’t be cold if this game goes any quicker.

2:19 – Home run Konerko! 4-0 White Sox! The 40th of the year for him! Yay! Yay! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie! Paul-ie!

2:27 – Now we’re talking about drug testing in baseball… I’m about to go to sleep. I’m so sick of this. Congress drags down baseball so they can look good. And no one talks about the NFL even though we know at least six men have done ‘roids in the NFL in the last two years. But let’s shit on baseball.

2:34 - Sox are done in the 7th… this might be the most boring clinching game of all time. The good news is that they showed some life early in the game and Garica looks great. Of course, I didn’t think about doing this journal until after that had happened.

2:35 – Great moments in my life… finding out there is a new Sports Guy article WHILE that Burger King commercial with the lumberjack and the King is on. I feel like John Madden talking about Brett Favre right now.

2:37 – Damn it…back to back singles to start the 7th for the Tigers. Come on, 6-4-3 Freddy!

2:38 – Harris makes another nice play and gets the guy on second. Even though it wasn’t a double play, Garcia could still get the double play here. Nice job, Willie!

2:39 – Apparently Steve Stone wants us to lose or he’s God. He starts talking about how Garcia has 19 wild pitches this year… and on cue Garcia throws a wild pitch. 4-1 Sox and a man on second now.

2:40 - Garcia gets Infante to strike out, two dead. And damn it, UConn is up big on CUA in the first half… time to take over. Garcia gets the third out, on to the 8th.

2:50 – They just showed the stat of White Sox career home run leaders… Frank Thomas is first with 448, Baines is next with 200 something, then Fisk with 215 or something, and then Konerko at 208. Yep that’s how bad the White Sox have been… all four guys have played for the Sox during my lifetime, that’s 24 years, even though the Sox have existed for over 100 years. And how Konerko is in fourth place is beyond me. He’s only been on the Sox like six years or something.

2:53 – After a walk to Konerko and a single for Everett, the human rally killer, Aaron Rowand, pops out. I’m starting to hate Rowand as much as Ahman Green. (And that’s not only because I have him on my fantasy team, but it is a factor).

2:56 – As Ozzie pulls Garica after going 7 strong inning, allowing one run (well there is a man on first, but no matter)… I’m starting to look at NCAA and NFL games this weekend. Of course, I couldn’t be more off this year so far with my picks. But it isn’t over until we say it is!

3:00 – I’m like 5 and 938 against the spread this year, only winning both Badger games and both games going against the Jets… and now the Jets are starting Brooks Bollinger this weekend! So a former Badger QB is starting an NFL game for the Jets… I could probably talk about this for two days, but I won’t. I’m going to stop… but… BROOKS BOLLINGER IS STARTING FOR THE JETS!!!! If that doesn’t want to make you gamble then nothing will.

3:02 – After Uribe leads us on an adventure on a pop up to shallow left, Maggs blasts one to right center, and it’s an RBI double for Maggs. It’s 4-2 now… Ozzie is pulling Politte and Neal Cotts is coming on. I’m not going to worry. I’m not going to worry.

3:04 – I’m telling you, I’m not going to worry.

3:08 – Cotts is in a battle with Pena, but Pena strikes out! Two outs! And Ozzie pulls Cotts and here comes Jenks. If you don’t know, when Ozzie calls for Jenks, well let’s just say once again I feel like John Madden talking about Brett Favre. Ozzie does one of two things:
1) Puffs his cheeks
2) Puts his arms out as if he’s imitating a fat guy
Ozzie went with option two this time.

3:10 – Yep that’s right, I used that Madden and Favre joke again. I could have switched it to Paul McGuire, but I liked Madden more than McGuire. Stay True I say. And in case you missed it: BROOKS BOLLINGER IS STARTING FOR THE JETS!!!!

3:11 – Jenks just threw a ball about 53 feet. The ball ended up going off the netting. Never seen that before… not a good time for the first time ever to see it I might add.

3:12 – Jenks gets the job done, getting Monroe to ground out. We are three outs away.

3:13 – I’m going to be honest, I don’t know anyone who enjoys X-Men or the X-Men video game. So why ESPN shows that ad, I have no clue.

3:14 – Every interview with Ozzie should be broadcast on ESPNews… they just showed an interview with him talking about him maybe quitting if the Sox win it all. I think he told Stone that they are from the same town… little know fact, Steve Stone is from Venezuela, because I know for a fact that Ozzie isn’t from Cleveland.

3:18 – After another sacrifice, if the Sox win this game, it pretty much encompasses the entire season in a nutshell. Moving guys over, base hits, good starting pitching, low scoring and close game, sacrifice bunts and flies, a home run here and there… all we need is a stole base and we’ve pretty much done it all.

3:20 – And just to back me up… Joey Cora for some reason sends A.J. on a weak base hit to left off of Pods bat. A.J. was easily out and Joey Cora, even though he’s the best third base coach in baseball (tm Hawk), costs this team another run. Thanks Joey!

3:21 – Crede grounds out to kill the rally officially. Gosh Cora sucks. Well Sox only need three outs.

3:24 – Jenks starts this inning, but the pen is up and running. Inge singles to lead off the inning. Not that I’m hung up on this, but have I mentioned how Joey Cora cost us a run last inning? I could tell from watching on TV that AJ should have held at third. What the hell is Cora thinking?

3:25 – Vance Wilson is up and quickly goes down 0-2, a chopper to third and Crede drops the ball. We’ve officially entered “Let’s give everyone on the South Side a heart attack and make sure they don’t enjoy this at all” stage of the game. Remember how I was saying this game is the Sox season in a nutshell… it’s even got the part where at the end of the game/season the Sox try to give the game away! Great start, sluggish middle, try to give it away at the end. If that’s not the 2005 Chicago White Sox, I’m not sure what is.

3:27 – My Uncle just called me, we both just started laughing. Only the White Sox, I know Red Sox and Cub fans would beg to differ, but come on… this is a day game! Who clinches the division on a day game? Only the White Sox and they have to make this interesting on top of it.

3:27 – With Dmitri Young up, Jenks gets him down 0-2… and Jenks gets him on the curve! One out!

3:28 – Jenks just got Granderson looking! Two outs! Sox are one out away from winning the division!

3:29 – A line drive and Konerko comes up with it! Sox Win! 2005 American League Central Division Champs! YES!!!! I would love to hear Hawk call this right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he punched DJ in the face.

3:31 – Ozzie and company are slappin’ five and givin’ hugs. This is great. It’s over! Finally we don’t have to worry about the damn Indians any more. YES!!! And they keep showing the last out… this was mosdef a sigh of relief more than a celebration. At first everyone jumped up, and then was like… ‘ummm we don’t have to worry any more right? This is all over right?’

3:32 – Phillips is talking to Konerko, and Konerko just said what I’m thinking, “this is more a relief… we’ve just been waiting to do this for a while…”

3:35 – Phillips is now interviewing Ozzie and my dad is calling me too… decisions, decisions. I end up answering and I put the phone up to the TV speaker to attempt to understand what the hell Ozzie is talking about… this is what I’ve figured out:
“Ozuna… played hard… managed… Maggs es el diablo... my guys… Konerko… pitching... you know… Chicago… played hard… Odio el mexicano... champions… pitching… it’s been hard… hahahaha… you know…proud of my players… jugamos difícilmente... they play good…. Alkdjfalkdjfa… unity of the team… super star… Soy el más grande... respect New York and Boston… Cleveland puede aspirarlo...” Sox fans were chanting “Ozz-ie! Ozz-ie! Ozz-ie! Ozz-ie!” in the background.

4:04 – I’m done with my dad after we talked about whom we’ll probably face in the first round, I’m thinking Boston. He didn’t really say anyone. I’m now watching ESPNews and enjoying shots of them spraying champagne on each other. I think I also just saw Jenks shot gun a beer! Anyway, speaking of that champagne… hey Steve Stone likes our chances in the playoffs!

4:07 – I realized that I’ll be in Boston next weekend… could this possibly work out?

4:08 – Well that’s all for me, it’s been a blast. And hey, the Sox are the 2005 American League Central Division Champs!