The NFL Mitchell Report

With Major League Baseball just minutes away from being dealt the blow that will be the Mitchell Report, where players both good and bad are about to be called out for their 'enjoyment' of steroids, I thought today would be a good day to bust out the 'what would the NFL Mitchell Report' look like.

Here's a list of guys who have some sort of connection to steroids in the NFL since 2000 or so:
Bill Romanowski*
Barret Robbins*
Dana Stubblefield*
Chris Cooper*
Jeff Mitchell
Todd Sauerbrun
Todd Steussie
John Milem
Henry Taylor
Dave Fiore
Wesley Walls
Kevin Donnalley
Ray Edwards*
Obafemi Ayanbadejo*
Shawne Merriman*
Rodney Harrison
Ryan Tucker*
David Boston*
Marcus Stroud *

*Tested positive for steroids or THG; here's a list of banned substances by the NFL.

But here's the thing with NFL suspensions - they don't always say if a player was suspended for steroid use. For example, Shaun Rogers was suspended last year, but we don't know for what. Travis Henry is another guy who may have violated the NFL's policy for something other than pot.

Anyway, getting back to what would the NFL Mitchell Report look like, let me make this quick - if there actually was a NFL Mitchell Report, we wouldn't be talking who was on the list, we'd be talking who WAS NOT on the list. See, as bad as baseball's steroid problem is (or was) the NFL's problem is much, much worse.

The problem in baseball is an obvious issue. But in the NFL, a game that we as a viewing public watch differently than baseball, may even be bigger. I don't know about anyone else, but if steroids are so useful in baseball, a game where strength and speed isn't as necessary as
in football, then wouldn't it make more sense for NFL players to be doing the juice? In a game where being bigger and stronger than the other guy is much more beneficial then well... I'll let you connect the dots. But I believe that most players in the NFL are probably using steroids, after all I don't know any 6'1", 250 pound men who can run 40 meters in less than 6 seconds let along 5 seconds.

I will say, that we follow and watch the NFL much differently than baseball. Baseball is the romantic, artful, intellectual American game. While we watch football in a much different manner - we gamble on football, it's a violent game, the players strap on armor to go into 'battle' to 'fight' the other team. It's a tactical game, where strategic takes place to prepare the team for the single battle once a week. Football is a battle, it's a war. And we watch it that way, so if the other players are willing to destroy their bodies, then that's okay by us - hypocritically of course.

George Carlin puts it best: