Where is the Outrage?

It became beyond obvious* that steroid use in the NFL is just as big, if not more so, in football as is in baseball, cycling, and track when The Charlotte Observer reported Sunday on the use of ‘roids and HGH by various players on the Panthers during their 2004 run to the Super Bowl. This, along with the NFL players that are tied to the BALCO case, makes the NFL testing policy seem like a complete joke. For the NFL to claim that its league is clean while 280 pound men run 40 yards in 4.8 seconds was always fishy. For them to claim it now would be outrageous.

As fans, we shouldn’t be all that surprised. In 1985 the Fridge was literally the biggest sensation to hit Chicago (and the NFL) since Jody Davis. Today I bet he’d be average sized for a defensive tackle. Everyone in the NFL has gotten bigger and faster at the same time, not just a few players, pretty much every player in the NFL. The 280 pound offensive lineman can be found next to the Tyrannosaurs Rex at the Field Museum. The report yesterday is just stating the obvious, or what should have been obvious to us all: NFL players use performance enhancing drugs and substances.

So over the last few days, what has been the response in the sports world? Basically nothing. ESPN.com offers us next to nothing, just a few words from the awesomely famous Tim Known. Rather, the big news for ESPN (and others) is that Jeff George is back in the NFL. Awesome…

Jason Witlock offers up a pretty good piece from the Kansas City Star on Tuesday, but the Washington Post, Chicago Sun-Times, and New York Times all had nothing on Tuesday (The Sun-Times did run this by Rick Telander today, but it doesn't really deal with the NFL). If this was baseball, I’m sure it’d be in the headlines for the next week (and if you don’t believe me, remember Jason Grimsley? Exactly). Writers like Jason Stark, Tom Boswell, William Rhoden and others would writing about the disgrace that HGH and ‘roids are bring baseball. But when it comes to the NFL, all I’m hearing is crickets.

I’m not sure what bothers me more, that the media holds a double standard for baseball and football ‘reporting’ or the lack of anger from the fans. But then again, in America, baseball is more than a sport. It’s ingrained in our arts, society, and culture. There are no football movies like “The Natural”, “Field of Dreams”, “Bull Durham”, or even “The Sandlot” and “Eight Men Out” (“Little Giants” does not count). American intellectuals and writers don’t pen memoirs, novels, or essays on football like they do on baseball (Take it away George Carlin). Baseball, as is argued in “Bull Durham”, is like a religion to so many. The moment baseball does something even remotely corrupting people are outraged, because it is still viewed as pure and innocent by so many (even after at least one rigged World Series, the 1994 Strike, ‘roids, racism, etc,.) We could discuss why this is another time, but let’s just say this, Jim Brown and Babe Ruth are considered the greatest ever in their sport (by most). In my opinion, Babe Ruth had more in common with Paul Bunyan than he does with say, any living human being. Ruth has become larger than life, a player so good, so dominate that he’s become the stuff of legends and folklore. Brown on the other hand is a regular Joe like you and me. His domination on the gridiron doesn’t transcend our imaginations like Ruth does.

But the NFL is clearly the most popular sport in America. From fantasy football to the regular season to the Super Bowl, pretty much every male in this country follows the NFL (partly because it’s so effin’ easy to follow; once a week, 16 times a year, plus a few playoff games; committing to a NFL team is the sports world equivalent of a one night stand). So why are people pissed off about NFL players injecting HGH and ‘roids into their bodies? Why isn’t ESPN focusing on this rather than stroking TO’s ego every ten minutes? I mean, isn’t the knowledge that NFL players are ‘roiding it up Rafael Palmeiro, Floyd Landis, and Justin Gatlin style a bigger deal than TO? (God it pisses me off to know that TO gets as much coverage as he does. When is ESPN going to learn that a) no one cares and b) you’re just encouraging him?)

It’s frustrating as a fan to sit here and know that the NFL steroid problem won’t get half the coverage that Barry Bonds received, let alone all the coverage of ‘roids usage in baseball.

So expect more of the same from the sports world over the next few days… no raking the NFL over the coals for a poor drug testing policy/enforcement. No blasting the NFL for allowing this to go on while turning a blinds eye to it all. No public witch hunt of players who so and so thinks may have doing HGH during the preseason. It will be business as usual… who’s the starting QB for the Bills? Who blew out their ACL last week and how does that affect my fantasy draft? What are the chances that Brett Favre doesn’t throw 30 interceptions this year? (Of course ignoring the fact that Favre was once addicted to pain killers; will we ever forget that Barry Bonds probably used steroids?)

No, there will be none of that. Just ho-hum, watch us make you watch us on TV this weekend, while the sports writers of America happily drink the NFL Kool-Aid that Jim Jones mixed up for them. It will be great, trust the NFL, because their drug problem is so bad that it’s not even worth reporting.

*(Beyond obvious is sort of stupid I admit, but it’s also fun to use and of course a ‘phrase’ you’d only hear in connection to sports. The ex-roomie is convinced that sports writing and announcing is destroying the English language. By writing ‘beyond obvious’ I just proved him right. And I’m not changing it).

UPDATE: I’ve also checked out the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle, New York Daily News, and Denver Post (to go along with the Washington Post, New York Times, and ESPN.com) have had nothing of note on their websites concerning steroids in the NFL (I did find a blog on the Chronicle’s website via GoogleNews). The Chicago Tribune’s Philip Hersh offers up this little splash, but nothing more than a few random thoughts. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s Bryan Burwell did write a some what stinging column on steroids and the free pass the NFL has gotten/gets with its own ‘roid problem. So basically at this point on Jason Witlock, Bryan Burwell, and Scott Fowler of the Charlotte Observer have written on ‘roids and the NFL. Amazing how the NFL is getting away with this. Might be time to say to myself what I was saying from 2002-early 2005 – “What goes around, comes around.” And “It will catch up with them in the end.”

Big Ten Preview, Part II

We’re finally done, here is the second part of the Big Ten Preview… enjoy. If you missed the first part, here you go.

Michigan State Spartans

Last Rose Bowl Trip - 1988
What Happened Last Year – (Johnny Brown, brother of Hubie, has decided to write this for us… Johnny take it away). Okay, you’re 4-0. You’ve got a win over Notre Dame in South Bend under your belt. You just beat Illinois by a LOT of points. You’re team is hot, people are giving you praise. You’re Michigan State and feeling good about yourself. You’re playing your FEARIST rival in Michigan and at home and you’re favored for the first time since 1968. Its half time, and you’re down 24-21, but you tie it going into the 4^th. Michigan goes down and scores. Then you catch a HUGE break to tie the game. This is your game to win. Go to 5-0 and ruin Michigan’s season. But you blow it. So how do you respond? You go 1-5 after the game and some how miss out on a bowl. It just wasn’t good.
Returning Starters – 6 on offense and 7 on defense
The Good – Drew Stanton is legit. They’re offense should be fun to watch and put up points. They don’t have to play the Badgers or Hawkeyes.
The Bad – This is Michigan State… they’re going to underachieve.
Heisman Hopeful? – Drew Stanton is that man. He probably won’t be going to New York though.
A Typical Saturday… - Rowdy fans who get a thumbs up from us here at VFLOAB for throwing beer bottles at Notre Dame fans after the ND/MSU game in 1998. That’s a true story. Oh yeah, and this looks like fun… not.
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: Miami… trashy, rowdy, and not nearly as good as you think it’d be, Michigan State and RW: Miami are sort of like that. Just stay away if you can.
Bowling For… - The Alamo Bowl would be better than nothing.
Final Random Thoughts – While I like the green unis and stuff, Michigan State is year in and year out the most uninspiring and overrated team in the Big Ten, which is saying something since Michigan is in the Big Ten… Rule of thumb, if you’re coach goes by only the single letter of his middle name; he’s probably not a good coach… It is always fun to watch Michigan State find ways to lose games… This team should be better than whatever their final record is going to be… when does basketball season start?... I really have nothing too interesting to say about them besides that I hope the beat the crap out of Notre Dame.
Rose Bowl Chances – 75 to 1

Notre Dame
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 1925 (Yes I realize Notre Dame isn’t technically in the Big Ten, but let’s face it, the Big Ten is waiting for ND to join the league. Who knows if it will ever happen, but that’s the deal. Plus ND plays four Big Ten teams this year. FOUR!)
What Happened Last Year – (9-2) After giving Ty Willingham an unjustified boot, they got their fourth choice coach in Charlie Weis. Domers were worried, but quicker than you can say Chicago Cubs, they were calling Charlie the Greatest Coach of All Time (while Lou Holtz watched in anger from the set of GameDay). An upset over Michigan in Ann Arbor really got the buzz going, but a tough loss to Michigan State brought them back down to Earth. After easy wins over bad Washington and Purdue teams the faithful began to think they could beat USC. And while they gave USC a run for their money, they came up *just* short. ND would go on to win five in a row over some pretty bad football teams to gain a BCS birth. Sent to Arizona to face Ohio State, the Buckeyes destroyed them to the tune of over 600 yards in the game (the 34-20 score makes the game seem sort of close).
Returning Starters – 7 on offense and 9 on defense
The Good – They’re going to put up points… Brady Quinn looks like the real deal and he’s got weapons at the receiver position… Darius Walker may be “patient, but slow” but you could do far worse in Div-IA football…almost all their tough games are at home…Their defense can’t be nearly as bad right?...even though he signed with the Cubs, Samardzija rocks because he is a Sox fan.
The Bad – They have a defense that won’t win championships… that secondary stinks and needs a true frosh to step up and play out of his mind… they’re schedule is much tougher this year… they’re going to struggle against teams with speed.
Heisman Hopeful? – Brady Quinn is the Heisman favorite as we speak (but we like Adrian Peterson at Okalahoma to win it)
A Typical Saturday… - As thousands of alums and wantabe alums from Chicago drive into South Bend, the student body gets pumped by watching “Rudy” and hitting on some of the worst looking co-eds. Eventually everyone makes their way to the stadium, talks about all the National Titles their fathers weren’t even alive for, 75,000 people sit on their hands while the 5,000 students and come up with lame (but they call them “clever!”) cheers and do push ups and random times. Oh, and there is this before hand (caution my fellow Caucasians, you will be embarrassed… watch at your own risk).
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: New York… The first and the best according to “people who know these things” both are so important that you just don’t understand how lame you are for not being in New York or a Domer. Seriously. Why would you even live if you didn’t go to ND or live in NYC?
Bowling For… - The Title Game (whatever it’s called), but a BCS birth is much more likely. Watch them lose 49-35 in the Orange Bowl to Florida or something.
Final Random Thoughts – There are two people in life: those who love Notre Dame and those who hate Notre Dame… These tailgates really are lame… If you were to draw up a list of least intimidating student bodies, they’d rank some where in-between Princeton and University of Chicago… Domers, while usually great and well rounded people, at times are like the loud, fat, and obnoxious Americans that travels to Europe of the Catholic faith. It’s that bad… And then there is the brainwashing… Notre Dame is #1… Notre Dame is #1… I’d love to have a competition to find out who’s more conceded: Domers or Michigan alums…the Gratto is probably the most overrated thing in Indiana… Just join the Big Ten and get it over with.
Rose Bowl Chances – 250 to 1; Ummm, I think it’s impossible under the new system… but if there is only one BCS Big Ten team and they make the National Title game and USC doesn’t win the Pac-10 they’re might be a outside shot of ND playing in the Rose Bowl.

Ohio State Buckeyes
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 1997 (but they’ve won the Big Ten a few times since then)
What Happened Last Year – A early season loss to the Texas Longhorns in Columbus pretty much put any hopes for a national title to rest. They then lost to Penn State early in the Big Ten schedule. But then they got hot, winning six straight and beating pretty much everyone with some ease. A trip to the Fiesta Bowl was in order where they killed Notre Dame. Oh yeah, they beat Michigan, just another year in the life of the Buckeyes under Jim Tressel.
Returning Starters – 8 on Offense and only 2 on Defense
The Good – In terms of talent, this might be the most talented team in the nation… Tory Smith, Pittman, and Ted Ginn Jr. form probably the most potent attack in the nation… oh yeah, and they’ve got tons of depth at running back… They’ve got a very talented defense… A trip to Iowa is their toughest Big Ten game.
The Bad – Experience on defense… a trip down to Austin early in the year… high expectations could sink this team…if there is a Curse of Maurice Clarett, we’re going to learn about it this year.
Heisman Hopeful? – Hello Troy Smith! Ted Ginn Jr. may try and make a run.
A Typical Saturday… - Ohio State fans are pretty much insane. They’re the closest we’ve got to a SEC fan base in the Big Ten. Anyway, everyone goes to the Horseshoe, rocks out, and gets really crazy when they dot the I in Ohio…oh yeah and they love doing their O-H… I-O cheer… I gotta say this is funny in a Midwest way.
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: Los Angeles… Probably the best Real World season when you cut to the chase, this was a well rounded and interesting season and the last one that was even remotely ‘normal’ (excluding London of course). But this season, like Ohio State, can beat you so many different ways. It’s got something for everyone.
Bowling For… - Whatever they’re calling the National Title game. Anything less would be a bit of a disappointment for the Buckeyes.
Final Random Thoughts – This really is a stacked team and they’re going to be a lot of fun to watch… if they beat Texas they’re going to go into that Michigan game undefeated… then again that trip to Iowa isn’t going to be a cake walk… It’s weird, despite their success they aren’t hated like Michigan, don’t get me wrong, there isn’t a lot of love lost between Ohio State and most of the Big Ten, but the hate just ain’t the same… maybe it’s because Ohio State fans are more insane than snobs… I like their unis, but not enough to link ‘em… This teams has all the makings for a national title run it will be interesting to see if they can do it.
Rose Bowl Chances – 2 to 1; The only reason they don’t go to the Rose Bowl is because they’re in Arizona.

Penn State Nittany Lions
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 1995, but they did win the Big Ten last year only the National Title Game kept them from playing in the Rose Bowl.
What Happened Last Year – Nearly everything that could go right went right. They had a studly defense combined with an offense that finally matured by throwing in a few freshman... they were 5-0 with Ohio State coming to State College. The victory announced that they were for real. If it wasn’t for a lucky, last second touchdown scored by Michigan a week later, Penn State would have run the table and made life hell for the BCS for the second straight year. No matter it was one of the most memorable seasons in Penn State history, and that’s saying something.
Returning Starters – 6 on offense and 5 on defense
The Good – They’ve got a lot of talent at the skill positions… Paul Posluszny is awesome and their linebackers might be the best in the country… last years feel good karma probably doesn’t have expectations too to high.
The Bad – Can that offensive line come together quickly?...They have to go to South Bend, Columbus, and Madison this year… The secondary is going to find out really quickly how good they are…
Heisman Hopeful? – Paul Posluszny seems like the token defender that gets Heisman hype this year.
A Typical Saturday… - As Eastern and Western Pennsylvania flood into State College, they put aside their insane fandom for the Steelers or Eagles and cheer on JoePa and the Nittany Lions. Much beer is drank, tailgating occurs, and a good time is had by all… Don’t for get: WE ARE! PENN STATE!
If They Were A Real World Season… - Real World: Key West… The newest Real World and the newest kids on the block in the Big Ten., both have something to offer and show the ‘older’ guys, what and how much remains to be seen. But they’ve finally been fully accepted into the their respective clubs. [Weak I know]
Bowling For… - Anything other than a New Years day bowl would be a bit of a disappointment.
Final Random Thoughts – Yeah, yeah, they’ve got a new quarterback, but Anthony Morelli looks like he’s going to be fo’real… I like this team, I don’t think they can run with the Ohio State and Michigan’s of the world at the moment, but Penn State is back on the right track… their schedule really does them no favors this year, at least they miss Iowa, but ummm, only Minnesota has a tougher Big Ten schedule… Gosh their Unis are awesome, I love these things… I’ve finally come around to them being a Big Ten team, welcome Penn State, it’s good to have you on board.
Rose Bowl Chances – 20 to 1

Purdue Boilermakers
Last Rose Bowl Trip - 2001
What Happened Last Year – Disaster. They were suppose to have a solid defense to go along with the always explosive Joe Tiller offense, instead everything when to s-h-i-t after a double overtime loss to the Gophers. The next week, Notre Dame came into West Lafayette and absolutely killed them. They ended up losing four more (six in a row) and their season was basically over. Though they did bounce back to win their last three and gave them something to build on over the spring.
Returning Starters – 7 on offense and 4 on defense
The Good – As always they should have a good offense and put points on the board… the defense can’t be any worse… and this year can’t go any worse than last year… they some how miss out on playing Ohio State and Michigan making a visit to Iowa their toughest game (or home against Penn State) in the Big Ten, you couldn’t ask for a better schedule…
The Bad - Too bad they don’t have enough talent to make something of that easy schedule… I’m not sold on Curtis Painter as of the moment… they never seem to have a very good defense… they’re Purdue.
Heisman Hopeful? – Curtis Painter… but he’s not a hopeful.
A Typical Saturday… - As someone once explained to me, “Purdue fans are like Luke Wilson’s (Frank Vitchard) News team in Anchorman.” Oh and fans have been known to wear t-shirts that read “Purdue’s Championship Season” which ended with a trip to the Alamo Bowl. I’m not making this up… that’s Purdue football BABY!
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: San Diego… one of the most uneventful seasons looking back, but at the time it seemed like it was cool… but it wasn’t. Every year we hear about the ‘dark horse’ that is Purdue and every year they finish behind the Badgers (and Hawkeyes… and Buckeyes… and Wolverines…) and they usually end up playing in the Alamo Bowl. RW:SD was much the same, it seemed like a good season with it being in San Diego and a bunch of drunks, but ummm it wasn’t… and then there is that rape charge that we never heard about… whatever happened with that?
Bowling For… - Something… anything… they just want to go to a bowl!
Final Random Thoughts – Ugh, I’m sorry but I’m sick of Purdue and their offense… I do enjoy how the roomie calls Joe Tiller a ‘sausage maker, he looks like he makes sausages!’ which is pretty funny. Cus yeah, I imagine a sausage marker would look like this…
So yeah, that’s Purdue football… they score points and allow even more. And they’re in Indiana which is never good.
Rose Bowl Chances – 200 to 1

Wisconsin Badgers
Last Rose Bowl Trip - 2000
What Happened Last Year - Barry Alvarez announced his retirement prior to the beginning of the season, Badger fans began to really worry. But a surprising win over Michigan got the Badgers to 4-0. A bad loss to Northwestern hurt, but the Badgers recovered to get to 8-1 and a trip to State College. Penn State handled the Badgers who turned around and lost to Iowa (again). But a surprising win over Auburn in the Capital One Bowl was a big positive for Wisconsin as it set off for life after Barry.
Returning Starters – 3 on offense and 8 on defense
The Good – They have a very solid defense and experience at the quarterback position… As always their offensive line should be great lead by All-American Joe Thomas… Bucky the Badger is beyond awesome… Madison… oh they always seem to have a stud running back in the pipeline… their schedule sets up really nicely to make a Rose Bowl run.
The Bad – There is no one to throw the ball to at the moment… the secondary might be a bit of a question… if John Stocco goes down, they’re in big trouble… New head coach Bret Bielema is more of a question mark than anything else at this point… odds are a red shirt freshman and true freshman are going to be their main options at running back, experience is a question.
Heisman Hopeful? – No one really stands out… Lance Smith who’s a freshman might have a shot a few years from now.
A Typical Saturday… - Wake up, start drinking various Miller products and eat at least three brats. Make your way over to Camp Randall Stadium where you’ll do various versions of the wave while cheering on the Badgers. Then at the end of the 3^rd quarter, they play “Jump Around” and the entire place starts, well, jumping (2:47 mark if you wanta watch it)… after the game much more drinking and brat eatting occurs… pass out and wake up to watch the Packers and Brett throw interceptions (drinking and brat eating begins all over again).
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: Austin… Easily one of the most bizarre and insane Real World seasons, it also gave us enough ‘memories’ to last a while (hell Danny was punched out on the first episode, things only got crazier). Like Austin, Madison is a college town with a state capital and great university, and it parties hard. And like this Real World season, Wisconsin has it moments, the Badgers aren’t at the level of a Ohio State or Michigan, but they aren’t as far behind as one might think. One slip up from the top tier Big Ten teams and Wisconsin is waiting to take advantage.
Bowling For… - Talent wise this is a New Years Day bowl team at best, but the schedule sets up that they could finish second in the Big Ten and get to go to the Rose Bowl because Ohio State is going to be playing for the National Title.
Final Random Thoughts – This might be the most balanced team in the Big Ten, never outstanding, but solid everywhere… When you say Wisconsin… you’ve said it all!... I love the different waves they do at Camp Randall… This isn’t the most talented team in the Big Ten (or that’s been in Madison over the last few years) but the schedule sets up really nicely for them to make a run… it’d be nice for them to play a tough non-conference game one of these years… Madison really is just great... Seriously do yourself a favor and get up to Madison for a weekend of brats, beer, and fun, you won’t regret it.
Rose Bowl Chances – 15 to 1

Baseball Thoughts

Since we watched both the Sox/Tigers and Phillies/Cubs tilts on TV last night, I thought it might be a good day to run down some random baseball thoughts… so here… we… goooooooooooo… (I promise, tomorrow, final Big Ten preview if anyone even cares).

The Boston Red Sox – Hahahahahahaha! That was great. Don’t you love how America wants the Yankees to beat them again? Remember when the Yankees were public enemy #1? Isn’t it amazing how no one likes the BoSox any more? I love it… just so they can ‘whine’ about it all over again. How the Yankees ‘always beat them’ (which always gets me, the Yankees own the ENTIRE AMERICAN LEAGUE and have since 1920! You don’t win 26 World Series and 39 pennants in an 85 year period with out beating the crap out of everyone in your league. Seriously Red Sox fans, get over yourselves). I still firmly believe they should stop selling those prewash/wore Boston hats to white males under the age of 35… and just asking but as anyone ever seen a black male wear a Red Sox hat?

Chase Utley – The Best Second Baseman in Baseball. There I said it. And it feels good. How can you not love Chase? Plays hard, good player, good fantasy player, girls think he’s cute… just an all around star. Here’s to you Chase, Mr. Best Second Baseman in baseball.

The Royals Chase of Giving Up 1,000 Runs – Our favorite subplot of the 2006 season has been the Royals quest of giving up 1,000 runs, as we predicted back in March. Right now they’ve given up 769 runs, so that means they need to give up 231 runs over the next 34 games… that’s only 6.79 runs a game! Considering they’re giving up an average of 6 runs a game thus far, what are a few more runs here or there? The 1996 Tigers were the last team to give up 1,000 runs in a season (they gave up a mind boggling 1,103 runs that year); though there were a few Texas teams that made a run in a few years back.

The NL Wild Card Race – What looked like what was going to be the cluster effs of cluster effs, appears to becoming a three team race. The Red currently lead the Padres and Phillies by a game and game and half respectively, and it doesn’t seem like anyone else is going to join this race. In all likelihood, this is going to be a two team race between the Reds and Phillies. The Padres are going to struggle to win the wild card out of the NL West which every team in the division able to say “We’re in the race” (the Dodgers and Rockies are separated by only 6.5 games). Since those five teams are going to beat up on each other, I wouldn’t count on the Wild Card coming out of that division.

So Phillies or Reds? The Phillies have been playing some really good baseball since they traded David Bell and Bobby Aberu. And it wasn’t because they dumped Aberu, au contre my friends, the reason behind the Phillies ‘comeback’ was Pat Burrell being benched. Burrell is your classic, nice numbers, horrible baseball player (Say Hello to Raul Mondesi!). But with him on the bench, the Phillies got guys who could actually play out on the field, and lo and behold, they’re back in the Wild Card race. And you couldn’t ask for an easier schedule. The Phillies 36 of the their final 39 games are against teams with losing records (and yeah, that doesn’t mean much in the NL, it does mean something).

The Reds meanwhile still have problems in their bullpen and their starting pitching has dried up a bit. But they still score a boatload of runs and have given the people of southern Ohio something to cheer about this year. But an upcoming west coast trip and combined with a some what difficult September schedule, this looks to be the Phillies year to FINALLY win the Wild Card.

The White Sox Starting Pitching – As we noted back a month ago, the Sox starting pitching has gone south after a nice first two months. It’s now at the point were pretty much every starter has an ERA that’s a full run higher than it was last year.

Name	ERA since 6/1/06	ERA since 7/1/06	Aug. ERA (though 8/23)
Jose Contreras	5.28	4.76	6.59
Mark Buehrle	6.44	8.10	5.10
Freddy Garcia	5.29	5.54	5.57
Jon Garland	3.69	3.13	3.38
Javier Vazquez	6.09	5.34	3.55
Starters Totals	5.35	5.37	4.89

The Sox starters have been better in August, thanks mainly to constancy from Garland, Buehrle pitching a little better, and Vazquez not sucking as much. But the Sox starters are not getting the job done, as the above proves. I’m not sure where this team would be without Jermaine Dye.

American League MVP Race – Speaking of Dye, let’s take a quick look at the AL MVP race. Seems to me that the media is going to choose between Jeter and Ortiz. But that’s unfair, since the MVP in the American league is either Joe Mauer or Jermaine Dye at the moment… and Vlad Guerrero in the hole. (We’re excluding Vernon Wells and Travis Hafner from the discussion since they play on teams that won’t be making the playoffs, and yeah, we know Ortiz’s team won’t be playing in October either).

Let’s get this out of the way first, Ortiz should not be the MVP. It’s that simple. Yes, the guy gets huge hits at time. Yeah, he leads the AL in home runs and RBIs at the moment… but he’s a DH which means he brings NOTHING to the team as a defensive player, and considering that the rest of the competition in this MVP race are either average to above average hitters, I can’t see Ortiz winning. Plus he’s not even the best player on his team and should probably thank Manny Ramirez every day for hitting behind him.

That leaves us Jeter, Dye, Mauer, and we’ll throw Vlad in there just in case the Angels do pull out the AL West. Vlad’s carried the Angels this year, but he needs God’s Soldiers to make the playoffs to have a realistic chance at being named MVP. Another amazing year from probably the most jaw dropping baseball player we’ve seen in the last 25 years.

Mauer probably doesn’t have the power numbers that voters are going to be looking for. Sure he’s hitting .360 and in the top ten in OPS and player catcher, easily the most demanding position in baseball, but voters are going to see those low home run and RBI totals look else where.

So that leaves Jeter and Dye. Dye isn’t ‘on the radar’ at the moment, but we’re about a week away from the “Hey, Maybe Jermaine Dye Should be the AL MVP” thought from Buster, then Stark’s column, etc… he’s in the MVP race. Jeter’s having one of his best seasons in his career, Dye is having a career year. Surprisingly, the numbers where you would expect Jeter to dominate over Dye (batting average, runs, and hits) are much closer that you’d expect. Dye is wiping the floor when it comes to power numbers, and the only two areas were Jeter ‘owns’ Dye is on-base percentage and steals (and to a degree hits). Everything else is either close or in favor of Dye. Check it out here.

If I had to choose right now, between the two I’d go with Jeter. But Dye is right on Jeter’s heals. It will be interesting if Dye can keep up his play over the past two months for another six weeks. If he does, I bet he wins the AL MVP.

Finally Random White Sox Thoughts - Podsednik, aside from the Miracle In Game Two, has been worthless since June of 2005… Considering that the Sox will need at least a left fielder, maybe a second baseman, and probably a right fielder next year, Garcia is expendable this winter since McCarthy is waiting in the wings (and a lot cheaper too). Buerhle's value is at an all time low. Moving him now would be silly. I wouldn't move Contreras and moving Garland would be tough because of that no trade clause… It looks like the Tigers will have held off the Sox and Twins charge. After today they've got the Tribe and then go to New York. Then their schedule eases up on them - Twins have four left with the Tigers and the Sox only three after today. The Tigers are 11-11 so far in August and had been playing .670 baseball before this month, I'd say they've "come down" to Earth a bit. But what’s been amazing is they're still getting insane pitching from guys like Nate Robertson and to a degree Kenny Rogers (I exclude Verlander and Bonderman because I think they really might be just this good). Miner's pitched much worse after a nice start, but the fact that Nate Robertson has an ERA under 4.00 is mind boggling – and annoying… If the Sox make the playoffs, I think their pitching will be fine. But it's going to be a dog fight. It’s going to be the Sox and Twins for the Wild Card. The Red Sox are dead meat. Anyway, advantage Sox because they have a better line up and deeper pitching at the moment, but you... never... know...

John McCain Can go to The Beach for All I Care

Before we move on to the next installment of the Big Ten… let me just rip John McCain for this quote in reference to the White House and the war in Iraq being “some kind of day at the beach.” No John. No one said that. Not even the White House. No one said war was going to be an effing day at the beach. You’d think, having seen war, that you’d realize that war isn’t an effing “day at the beach”. Just shut the effing eff up and go away. Seriously, take you patchy skin and bad comb over and go some where else. Far from your desire to be President of the United States.

You can't sit on the side lines cheering on the war, John, and then when EVERYONE BUT THE FIVE NEO-CONS LEFT is hating on the war decide that the war wasn’t as ‘easy’ as you were lead to believe. Now, if you want to say, the White House mislead us when it came to WMDs or other things, fine. But don’t blame them for war being Hell.

And don’t come out three years after the fact and say “I think one of the biggest mistakes we made was underestimating the size of the task and the sacrifices that would be required.” No John, most on the left and most military analysts were saying that over three years ago - that’d we get bogged down and drop billions of dollars to force democracy on the people of Iraq and they'd resist and it'd turn into a mess. So don’t come around now saying that it’s the White House’s fault. It’s your friggin’ fault for allowing them to do this and then doing NOTHING until every poll says you should ‘change your mind.’

Just go away, and take most of DC with you. You’re all a bunch of bums.

And what does this say for Bush? First Liberman loses and now one of his biggest supporters ditches him… shouldn’t he just leave? Say you know what, ‘I’ve messed things up enough, no one likes me, and not only did I totally mess up Iraq, I messed up everything else I’ve even thought about over the last six years, so I’m just going to leave. It was fun. Now clean up my mess.’

Well I’ll keep dreaming for that day… which will be the same day Hedi Klum takes me home.

Other random facts…

The euro area's GDP grew at an annual rate of 3.7%, which is the fastest in six years. On top of that, for the first time in seven years, the EU grew at a faster rate than the US, UK, and Japan. And if you look at GDP in terms of per head, the EU has basically kept pace with the United States in terms of growth. Once again, the European economy isn’t nearly as ‘bad’ as we keep hearing here in the States. Yes, there are problems in Europe mainly due to high unemployment and an aging population; but things aren’t nearly as dire as some here in the States like to paint it.

Thanks everyone driving every where (and the topography) in Cali the piss poor air leads to some 8,800 deaths and $71 billion in health-care costs each year in that state alone. We hear so much about smoking and second hand smoke… but looks like air pollution caused by cars is just as big, if not a bigger problem in this country. California is doing something about it by hammering out Assembly Bill 32. It will make California the first state to impose pollution caps on various pollution making industries.

Little Miss Sunshine is a ‘nice’ movie. It’s funny but like all movies that I’ve seen over the last 18 months, it’s flawed to the point where you’re thinking “have we really come to the point that we expect so little from movies that an above average movie like this is being called ‘almost great’ by a few people?”

Big Ten Preview: Part I

Let’s see here… Watford has a big game against West Ham today, the Tories just opened up a nine point lead in the polls over in the UK, and the White Sox got “Red Soxed” by the Tigers last night. Not good times… unless Watford wins. Oh and the Pakistanis may pull out of an international test with England in cricket because they’ve been accused of doctoring the balls. Yep, it’s pretty much crazy over there in the Kingdom that is United, but we’re done with them. It’s time to talk some Big Ten football.

That’s right! VFLOAB’s favorite conference, which featuring our favorite team (the Wisconsin Badgers), plays the most entertaining and fun football throughout the fall, and has story lines that the good people of Bristol can only dream about. Yeah, we know, the SEC is pretty diesel too, and maybe we’ll ‘compare’ the two conferences later, but for now… let’s Big Ten it up. (Update: Here's Part II if you care about the umm, good teams in the Big Ten?)

Illinois Fighting Ilini
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 1984 (though they did go to the Sugar Bowl in 2002 winning the Big Ten title).
What Happened Last Year – (2-9) In Ron Zook’s first season the Illini sucked, but if you talk to the Illini faithful, well first they’ll tell you how great Bruce Weber is, and then they’ll tell you how Zook is a great recruiter and that some day they might even beat Michigan…
Number of Returning Starters – 10 on Offense and 10 on Defense
The Good – Their Offense isn’t that bad… Rashard Mendenhall is only a sophomore.
The Bad – How about that defense, eh? Passing on the Illini shouldn’t be too hard to do.
Heisman Hopeful? – Rashard Mendenhall is probably two years away from even thinking about that New York.
A Typical Saturday… - I know a number of Illini alums, I grew up in Chicago, and I can’t remember anyone really caring much for Illinois football. Sort of a shame, but let’s face it, when you have unis as ugly as these guys, why should anyone care? Wake ‘em when basketball starts.
If They Were A Real World Season – The Real World: Chicago… like this season, the Illini are a fairly uneventful and unmemorable team where no one really cares about them a year a few months after the season ends. Lacking star power and over all talent, all any remembers with want Tonya did after the show… sort of like Simeon Rice and eventually Rashard Mendenhall.
Bowling For… - Nothing. The Illini will be lucky to win two Big Ten games this year.
Final Random Thoughts – Seriously, these are really ugly… It’s weird seeing a coach like Zook in downstate Illinios, and as always with the Illini, most of the talent in the state is around Chicago. Can Zook get those guys to come south?... Methinks No… If Zook can some how get them to five wins, they’ll have a ton to build on for 2007. But this looks like a three win team and at least a year away from even sort of scaring anyone in the Big Ten.
Rose Bowl Chances – 3,000 to 1

Indiana Hoosiers
Last Rose Bowl Trip - 1968
What Happened Last Year – (4-7) They some how jumped out to a 3-0 start, and then beat Illinois to get to 4-1. And then naturally they lost their next six games and finished 1-7 in the Big Ten. On top of that, Indiana hoops were average at best.
Returning Starters – 8 on offense, 7 on defense
The Good – Their D shouldn’t be as bad as Illinois! James Hardy is only going to play football and looks like he could be a top ten NFL draft choice! Hey, going 3-1 out of conference looks likely!
The Bad – Aside from the Illini, there doesn’t look to be a win on the Big Ten schedule. They don’t have a running game. I’m not kidding; their leading returning rusher is the quarterback. And to make matters worse, their offensive line is shaping up to be the worst in the Big Ten. And that defense… umm, let’s move on.
Heisman Hopeful? – Hardy probably won’t be on anyone’s long list, but the kid can play.
A Typical Saturday… - Honestly, I’m not sure anyone has paid more than five minutes to Indiana football since Randle El left.
If They Were A Real World Season… – The Real World: London… Forgetful in every way, you’ll never find anyone saying, I’d love to watch me some Real World London today!
Bowling For… - If they got to six wins, Hardy’s probably on his way to New York and at least two so-so Big Ten teams fell apart.
Final Random Thoughts – Hey look! The Red Headed Step Child of the Big Ten!!! Seriously no one cares about Indiana football... Indiana sucks, it's that easy, never go there unless you're driving though... ESPN2 never even shows their games unless they’re playing the Badgers, Michigan, or OSU. I have nothing to add besides that the Badgers better beat ‘em.
Rose Bowl Chances – 2,000 to 1

Iowa Hawkeyes
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 1991 (though they made it to the Orange Bowl in 2003 only to be destroyed by USC).
What Happened Last Year – (7-4) High expectations that lead to a disappointing season over all. The Hawkeyes lost to Iowa State early on and never seemed to get on track after that. A loss at home to a bad Michigan team probably best sums up last year.
Returning Starters – 7 on both offense and defense.
The Good – They have some real talent on offense, Drew Tate and Albert Young might be the best QB/RB combo in the Big Ten (depending on what you think of Ohio State). They’ve got a solid D-line. And they’ve got a coach that everyone in the NFL seems to love in Kirk Ferentz, who, we might add, can recruit.
The Bad – They need a receiver to step up big time and they lost some nice players on D (especially at linebacker) from last year.
Heisman Hopeful? – Although Young might be the better player, Drew Tate is more likely to find himself in New York this year. Don’t count on it though.
A Typical Saturday… - You know, I don’t know to be honest. Iowa’s one of those teams that you see a lot but never get a feel for what it’s like to hang out there. I hear it’s sort of a good time, but I’ve never really met anyone who went there so yeah, I guess their big in state. And they sort of tailgate… and I’m moving on.
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: Seattle… a season that everyone remembers, but it is never the first to pop in anyone’s mind, much like Iowa. But if you’re sitting around talking about the Real World and were to say “Seattle” people would nod their heads and say, ‘yeah, that was a good season’. This was also one of the few seasons were everyone wasn’t insane… well besides that Stephen dude who wasn’t gay, but was picked up for prostitution a few years ago. But you don’t hear about Iowa football players getting arrested and acting like morons that often.
Bowling For… - Hey with Tate and Young and a few breaks, the Rose Bowl isn’t a totally insane possibility… but most likely they’ll end up playing a close game with some SEC team in the Capital One Bowl.
Final Random Thoughts – If you’re looking for a Big Ten team to beat Ohio State, this might be that team, since they play the Buckeyes early and in Iowa. They do have to go to Ann Arbor and a bizarre game verse Northern Illinois sits there in the middle of the schedule and screams upset… If Ferentz were a girl, and the NFL a boy, the NFL would be at the point were they’d just written the girl off completely, only to see her a little buzzed two weeks later and flit with her all over again only to go home with nothing… Two years ago it seemed like every single player from the Chicago ‘burbs decided to go to Iowa… They own Wisconsin… For all those ‘quality’ recruiting classes and hype, they’re not Ohio State or Michigan or even Wisconsin for that matter. They always seem to find a way to lose a game or two here or there in the Big Ten… Since everyone loves Ferentz, odds are they’re overrated… again.
Rose Bowl Chances – 15 to 1

Michigan Wolverines
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 2005
What Happened Last Year – (7-4) They lose at home to Notre Dame, then at Wisconsin and sit 2-2 with a trip to a hot Michigan State team… they win of course. The next week against Minnesota at home… Michigan loses and sits 3-3 with undefeated Penn State coming to town. What do they do? They win of course. Yeah, that’s what it was like rooting for the Wolverines last year. Some how they finished 7-4 and went to a bowl. All things considered, things could have been a lot, lot worse. Oh yeah, they were ranked #4 before the season started… they didn’t finish in the top 25 last year.
Returning Starters – 6 on offense and 8 on defense
The Good – Chad Henne has to be better right? And Mike Hart is healthy with some quality back ups just in case. The defense was pretty good last year and should be a bit better this year.
The Bad – If Henne doesn’t improve, they’re in trouble. They should be okay at wide receiver, but you never know. And their offense line always seems to under perform. Oh yeah, can they beat a Jim Tressel Ohio State team?
Heisman Hopeful? – Mike Hart… if you believe his freshman year production was the real thing.
A Typical Saturday… - Wake up, watch some early Big Ten games, make your way over to Michigan Stadium, jam yourself into the stadium, and sit on your hands. Turn the other way and stick your nose up in the air while the rest of the Big Ten tells you to get bent.
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: San Francisco… come on. Who else? Always enjoyable, though overrated and not nearly as important as you and everyone else remembers it as. Yeah Puck was insane. Yeah Pedro’s story was somewhat moving. But come on? Jud? Cory? Muhammad? Does anyone even think twice about these people? This was all about Puck and once Puck left, was this even watch able? But San Fran is the gold standard, just as Michigan is in the Big Ten.
Bowling For… - The Rose Bowl… it’s hard to see this team running the table with trips to Notre Dame, Penn State, and Ohio State plus visits from Wisconsin and Iowa.
Final Random Thoughts – They’re going to beat Notre Dame, mark it down. These teams have a nasty habit of doing that to each other when they play. If one team is ranked really high, it seems like the ‘underdog’ wins… Oh yeah, don’t let anyone tell you that the Doomers biggest rival is someone other than Michigan… Lloyd Carr might be the worst coach in the Big Ten… Just in case you don’t know, everyone in the Big Ten hates Michigan, I mean pretty much everyone has them as their biggest rival… Don’t be shocked if this is Carr’s last season in Ann Arbor… There’s basically no chance that they struggle again… I must say, they do have sweet unis… Expect them to lose three games, maybe two, and disappoint just about everyone… again… I can’t get a feel for this team, which basically means they’re like any other team under Lloyd Carr in the last ten years.
Rose Bowl Chances – 4 to 1

Minnesota Golden Gophers
Last Rose Bowl Trip - 1962
What Happened Last Year – (7-4) They finally beat Michigan after blowing games to them two years in a row… but once again the Gophers seem to be stuck in Big Ten purgatory. They went 4-4 in the Big Ten, which all in all, was a disappointment. They beat everyone they should have beat, but couldn’t pull off an upset over Iowa, Penn State, or Ohio State, and a loss to the Badgers didn’t help matters. Up 34-31 with just seconds to play, Minnesota is lines up to punt to the Badgers and force them to go at least fifty yards in under twenty seconds… and the punt is blocked. Wisconsin recovers in the end zone for the win. If this had happened in the ACC we would never hear the end of it.
Returning Starters – 7 on both sides of the ball
The Good – They’re okay once again, and set at the QB position with Bryan Cupito and they have their top three receivers coming back… They finally got a deal to build them a stadium so they don’t have to play in the Metrodome any more in a few years.
The Bad – Running back Gary Russell won’t be playing for them this year… which means if Amir Pinnix doesn’t step it up, this team will be going nowhere fast… their offensive line is a work in progress… Their defense is nothing to get excited about and that D-line could be pretty bad… Special teams may kill this team again.
Heisman Hopeful? – Ummm, unless Laurence Maroney or Gary Russell come back, no one.
A Typical Saturday… - Let’s see, it’s 10am, I’m hung over from a long Friday night and no you want me to make my way across the Twin Cities to catch a Gopher game in the big, ugly, and boring Metrodome? I’ll just chill in the dorm.
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: Philadelphia… talk about a season that still doesn’t make sense. Did anyone get alone with anyone in this season? Does anyone even care about this season? Then again this is the season that Landon pulled a knife on one of his cast members… but over all it seemed to lack the “it” that a great Real World season needs… much like the Gophers. They have some talent and send that talent along to the NFL or Challenges, but over all… it just doesn’t have “it”.
Bowling For… - A New Year’s Day bowl would be nice, but unlikely if the running game doesn’t come together. So San Antonio looks like a good bet.
Final Random Thoughts - This is a classic team that needs a big win to get over this hump they’ve been stuck at for what seems like five years now… Playing in the Metrodome KILLS this team imo. They’re stuck in a big, indoor stadium that isn’t on campus which makes it one of the more quite places to play in the Big Ten. The sooner they get out of there the better, so 2009 can’t happen fast enough… I’ve got to admit, I sort of like the Gophers as long as they’re not playing the Badgers… Paul Bunyan’s Ax is pretty cool… GopherForIt…If they don’t make a bowl, Mason might be fired, he’s gotten them competitive, but no over the hump at this point… Minnesota is basically Wisconsin Lite… It would be sort of cool if they changed their logo to this.
Rose Bowl Chances – 250 to 1

Northwestern
Last Rose Bowl Trip – 1995 (1994 had to be the most bizarre year in sports… no Jordan in basketball, no baseball because of the strike, Northwestern beats Notre Dame and wins the Big Ten, Rangers win the Cup… weird year).
What Happened Last Year – (7-4) They scored a lot of points, allowed a lot of points, and won enough games to lose to UCLA in the Sun Bowl after being up big. Then in late June head coach Randy Walker passed away of a heart attack… major bummer for everyone. RIP Randy.
Returning Starters – 8 on both Offense and Defense
The Good – They know how to rack up yards and points. Tyrell Sutton was awesome running the ball as a freshman last year.
The Bad – They’re defense is Illinois and Indiana like ‘good’… who’s going to be the quarterback?... Is Pat Fitzgerald ready to be a D-I coach?... They play a really tough schedule, maybe the toughest in the Big Ten.
Heisman Hopeful? - Tyrell Sutton could get some love from a random writer in the middle of October.
A Typical Saturday… - A bunch of smart kids with more social skills than their ‘rivals’ south of them at the University of Chicago wake up, look around, realize that they’re in Evanston on a kick ass campus, maybe get some grub at Clarke’s or in Roger’s Park, then hit up Ryan Field throwing frozen marshmallows at each other with their shits off. In other words, they don’t fit into the whole ‘Big Ten’ thing. (Shocking but true, but only Northwestern and Minnesota can say they have an ‘urban’ campus in the Big Ten; unless you consider Columbus as a place to be seen).
If They Were A Real World Season… - The Real World: Paris… Flashy at times and filled with a bunch of beautiful people, Northwestern’s offense is much the same. They even throw some drama at you just for the hell of it and the people on the show/team are sort of interesting in a ‘woah, these guys aren’t complete morons’ kind of way. But they do have a problem… it’s called holding your interest. And in the end, no one cares… not even your home city. (FYI, this is one of VFLOAB’s favorite Real World Seasons).
Bowling For… - To be honest this team should just be looking to get to 6 wins.
Final Random Thoughts – This team is sort of like the 2005 New Orleans Saints… no one has any clue what’s going to happen with them. The death of Walker is a major blow. Former Wildcat ‘great’ Pat Fitzgerald takes over as head coach. He’s young and was probably five years away from becoming a head coach. I have no clue how this is going to turn out… I’ve got to say, I’m rooting for Mike Kafka to get some playing time unless he wakes up as a bug tomorrow… The funny thing about Northwestern is that the good people of Chicago probably dislike them more than anything else, yeah the alums like ‘em and they got a few fans here and there, but most people in Chicago are either rooting for Notre Dame or one of the other Big Ten teams (Wisconsin, Michigan, or Illinois)… I have little love for NU, if they win fine, but they annoy me with their gimmick offense and habit of beating the Badgers.
Rose Bowl Chances – 75 to 1

(Yeah I realize Michigan State comes before Northwestern, but I forgot that one on another computer so you’ll just have to deal with it. And yeah this clocked in at over 3,100 words, expect more of the same in Part II).

The Truth Hurts

One of life's great mysteries may have been solved last night. Bryant Gumbel lit into both Paul Tagliabue and Gene Upshaw last night on his Real Sports show.

"Before he cleans out his office," Gumbel said. "Have Paul Tagliabue show you where he keeps Gene Upshaw's leash. By making the docile head of the players union his personal pet, your predecessor has kept the peace without giving players the kind of guarantees other pros take for granted. Try to make sure no one competent ever replaces Upshaw on your watch."

I've been wondering for years why Upshaw is always lock and step with the NFL owners. It always seems like when it comes to what the owners want they get without much of a fight from the NFLPA and the players seem to get the short end of the stick in the NFL. Why is it that NFL players make less and don’t have the same guarantees that athletes in other sports? Never understood this one, but Gumbel's theory might have something to it.

No matter, the fact that the NFLPA kept agreeing to push back that drop dead deadline date this spring was fishy at the time and still fishy today. But why should we be surprised, the NFL after all, is probably the most crooked sport in America.

Big Ten Preview tomorrow...

Odds and Sods

Okay so that’s the name of an underrated Who album and has to do with your lawn. For a ‘throw away’ album, we’ve always enjoyed it here at VFLOAB. And that’s what today is, a throw away of lose ends.

Public Four’s website is up and running a lot better (now with pictures!). Check it out. Also, for those who like podcasts, the Tripwire podcast is pretty awesome, and their website will more than do the job while Pitchfork gets their effin serves working.

We said we were going to do it, so here we go… Watford news!!! They face Everton in Liverpool this weekend in their first Premiership game in six years. Here’s a nice little story on former Hornet great (and the first black to score for the English national team) Luther Blissett. Totally bizarre and totally interesting story to Blissett in European pop culture… he moved from Watford to Milan in the early 80s and that’s when things got crazy. A group of anarchist called themselves the Luther Blissetts in the mid 90s and he has since become a nom de plume. VFLOAB thinks this is totally awesome and we may even change the name of this blog. (and yes we’ve know about the Luther Blissett stuff for years, but for some reason we JUST thought of how awesome of a blog name it would be. Just call us a slow Americans).

Here is the BBC’s preview for the Premiership season, and here is Mark Lawrenson’s thoughts on the upcoming year (he likes the Hornets to stay up). Not sure who he is or what his word is worth, but any man named Lawro gets a shout out here at VFLOAB. (and yes, Lawro is a lame nickname… I think the Brits should hire some Canadians to come up with some nicknames for ‘em. Lawro would become Lawry, Becks would become Beckie… don’t you love Canadians? And don’t you love how every effin hockey player gets an ‘I-E’ or ‘Y’ at the end of their name… and that’s their nickname. Oh Canada).

We watched Monday Night Football the other night because… we love Tony Kornheiser. We’ve been listening to him on the radio since high school… we listened to him on the radio in college, we watched him on PTI (and were one of the five people excited about PTI when it started), and we loved him when he left ESPN radio only to come back on the local DC sports radio station. Tony’s funny, he’s smart, and he even says something interesting about sports once in a while. There isn’t much not to love about Tony.

So when it was announced that he was going to be doing Monday Night Football… we got excited. This was going to be a success… Tony was funny and knew a thing or two about sports.

And then we learned that Joe Theisman was going to be the other color man. And that’s when we got worried. See Theisman is just brutal in the booth. He’s a moron, talks too much, ALWAYS says the players are the greatest humans of all time, and of course, you’re destined to hear “Great players make great plays!” at least twice a game. He’s just bad, there’s no other way around it… oh yeah and his voice is annoying.

So there we were watching the first quarter and hating every second of Monday Night Football. First off, it didn’t feel like Monday Night Football. I’m not an Al Michael’s fan, but at least he makes the game sound like an event. Mike Tirico made you feel like you were, well, watching the ESPN Thursday night college football game feature two middle-of-the-road ACC teams. In other words the game didn’t feel “special”. And I understand, it was preseason, but can’t Tirico sort of sound interested? Because the flip side of all this is… the NBC Sunday Night game? That feels like the event.

The second thing is that ESPN seems dead-set on dumbing down the broadcast (which I might add, is my number one problem with America… why is it everyone in DC and the media things every single America is about as smart as Forrest Gump? Why!?!?! If you treat us like morons, we’ll act like morons… argh, don’t get me started on this). If this is the case, Tony is going to crash and burn and hopefully quit in the middle of the Week 10 game. We were excited about the “Ask Tony a question!” gimmick they were presenting… well it couldn’t have been lamer. The questions being asked were about as bland and interesting as an effing Skip Bayless column. Just brutal… I don’t care about what Tony thinks of Aaron Brooks… I’m not watching the game to hear Tony’s opinions on a shitty QB. I want questions that are funny and Tony can work with. For instance, my buddy e-mailed Tony if he thought Brad Childress was Major Dad in a past life… now not only is that funny, but it’s the PERFECT question for Kornhesier to answer and have fun with.

But here in lines the problem… Theisman doesn’t have a sense of humor and Tirico may or may not be a robot. So basically if Tony were to take something on like this, he’d be on his own. They’d be no straight man or anyone to play with the joke with him. In other words no Wilbon, and this MNF booth might be dead not because of Kornheiser, but because of the other guys in the booth.

What I’m getting at is this… the color guys in a booth are almost always former players (Chris Wheeler of the Phillies radio booth being the only non player I can think of; and btw Wheeler may very well be the worst color man in the history of sports). Anyway, these former players usually stink. Not only are they unpolished, they’re almost never critical and do a horrible job at explaining what is going on. Once in a while you’ll get a good color man in baseball (Al Leiter is always great; I’ve enjoyed Jim Price’s work with the Tigers, and then there is Steve Stone who might be the best in the biz), but I can’t think of many good football or basketball guys (aside from Lee Carso and Kirk Herbstreit).

So to just cut to the chase, get rid of these lame players that bring next to nothing to the booth. They’re never very good and often times the play-by-play announcer makes it his goal in life to be best friends with the ex-jock color man. I hate it… and I’m getting sick of writing about this. So that’s all. (Though wouldn’t a Brent Musburger and Kornheiser tagteam be great? Then against maybe not…)

Oh, one last thing… interesting piece here on lazy sports writers and ESPN. (thanks Deadspin!)

Premiership Predictions (For What It's Worth)

You know you’ve had a bad week when you get your drink spiked, end up in the hospital, get fined by your club for going out, and then get your dog stolen. I’m not sure how ESPN would play with this here in the States, but it’s funny even if it happens in Europe.

Anyway, if you are looking for a soccer fix, the easy answer is to start following the English Premiership, the top flight of English football, and depending on whom you ask, the best footie league in the world. They kick off this weekend which means previews and well… who doesn’t love season previews? As for guides to the season, I offer:

The British, with a Guardian twist.

Then there is the always enjoyable view of That’s On Point, via somewhere in Connecticut, Part One; Part Two; and Part Three.

I can’t find anything good on ESPN.com, which might be a blessing. Though I am wondering if Simmons is going to do Tottenham updates for all of us though out the year… I’m guessing not, but then again, weirder things have happened. And as I’ve said, we’ll have Watford updates from time to time. But don’t expect much until October.

What do we think here at VFLOAB? Call us boring, but Chelsea wins the dame thing, but Liverpool gives them a run for their money. Arsenal and Spurs finish third and fourth respectively (and Arsenal looks set of making a run for the title next year). Manchester United, which needs a major overhaul according to just about everyone, disappoints into fifth place. The last European spot goes to Middlesbrough, which quite frankly, will either struggle (to the tune of a 15th or 14th place finish) or flirt with UEFA Cup qualification all year. Can’t see much in-between for them; and if they do stink, West Ham sneaks into that UEFA Cup place. And who goes down? Says here Sheffield Wednesday, Manchester City, and Fulham… they have to go down at some point right? Watford stays alive… barely. Reading, Wigan, and Portsmouth will all most likely be in that ‘regulation’ battle.

Final note… if you like college football, then you’d like soccer. It’s hard to explain really, but there is more passion in college football and soccer (let’s face it, the fan base of pretty much any SEC and half the Big Ten is much more passionate than say, Redskins or Bears fans). Fans cheer on the team without the need for a scoreboard to tell them to do so, they have their ‘songs’ and in game activities to pump up the crowd.

And before anyone tells you that the NFL is better, I have two words for them: Super Bowl. Seriously, think about it for a second… the Super Bowl is the most overrated game and event in this country. And for all that’s good about the Super Bowl, there are about 100 reasons why it sucks (for starters it takes about nine hours to play the game and it always, I mean always, comes across as sterile and silent on TV; in other words, it’s the one sporting even that I’m happy I’m not at… I’m not kidding, I’d turn down Super Bowl tickets because, well, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t enjoy sitting on my hands with Hedge Fund managers who are ‘really into the Giants’).